Author: Rabbi Michael Farbman

In 1968 my husband and I came to Connecticut for one year of his residency. We had no plans of putting down roots, since this was simply another stop along the educational road. We had both grown up in New York, and hardly realized we were a minority group. Neither of our families were observant, nor did we have any formal religious education. As young adults, we had gone alone to High Holiday services, where we felt less than welcome. However, we both had done our own study of Judaism and felt a spiritual need to further our understanding. Although being Jews by birth, we were now Jews by choice.

We heard of a small group of people who had organized in 1962 with “a keen sense of Jewishness, a pioneer spirit, and desire to practice their religious beliefs and educate their children in a more meaningful manner than was available from other reform congregations.” Within 5 years, the small congregation became Temple Emanuel and was given recognition. We joined this unique community, with its basis of volunteerism, and held our services throughout the New Haven area with a student part-time rabbi. Once we realized that Orange was going to be our home, we became more active members, teaching and serving on many committees.

Temple Emanuel has changed and grown from its inception. However, its basic values and the spirit of our special community have remained the same, first with the expert guidance of Rabbi Mark Winer, and then with Rabbi “Jerry” Breiger. I am truly grateful to both of these men and the friends of TE who not only helped educate my family, but supported us through both the most joyous and most difficult times of our lives.

As one of the more “mature” members of TE, I have been lucky enough to experience the advances our synagogue has made and now share the presence of our remarkable Rabbi Farbman in our new home. I have pledged to the “Leave a Legacy” program to make sure those of the next generation have the same opportunity that those before gave to me. Someone recently said that “we are the memories of tomorrow”… and I want us to be remembered as passing on the gift of Temple Emanuel.

    My path to a committed and treasured Jewish life has had bumps, ruts, peaks, and valleys.  Since 1981, when my family moved to Connecticut and joined Temple Emanuel, the path has become gradually smoother and more fulfilling.  Spiritually, socially, and emotionally, Phil and I found our “home-away-from-home family.”  Although some essential aspects of Jewish life are individual, many aspects are communal.  Worshipping, laughing, playing, and evolving with members of the Temple Emanuel community has led to me developing many fulfilling and very special relationships.  I treasure these friends and am sustained by our interactions.  My religious community has been a supportive presence in both dark times and simcha celebrations.

Phil and I committed to the Leave A Legacy program prior to his death in 2013, and I remain fully committed to the efforts to insure that Temple Emanuel—our special place—is sustained in the future.  I want to help provide future members with the kind of awesome experience found in being part of our unique Jewish community in the woods of Orange.

TE is a welcoming and supportive community and one that has made important differences in each of our lives.  That’s our strongest reason for deciding to participate in the Leave a Legacy program.  We benefitted from a TE community that was built by members before we joined, and we feel strongly that we want to support future TE members.

When Anne joined TE in 1992 after her divorce, she was looking for a bar mitzvah program for her son Matt.  TE provided a supportive community of guitar-playing Rabbi Jerry Brieger and many attentive teachers who helped meet Matt’s individual needs with caring and compassion.

Larry “joined” TE when he began dating Anne and attending Shabbat services in early 1996.  Larry was taken by how everyone sang at TE and he sang as well, albeit off-key.  Larry started going to Rabbi Brieger’s Torah study group and went to Matt’s bar mitzvah a few months after meeting Anne.  Anne and Larry grew together by getting to know the spiritual in the person they had first met.  Larry officially joined TE when he and Anne were married by Rabbi Brieger in 2000.

Once again the TE community was there when Matt passed in 2001.  TE provided open-hearted support and caring through a very difficult period.  Because Anne believes in the need to reaffirm life, working to beautify the TE grounds and TE cemetery is Anne’s way of expressing gratitude.  Anne has also specified the cemetery as her Leave a Legacy recipient.

Larry is a past TE president and board member and was chair of the rabbi search committee after Rabbi Brieger retired.  As it happens, the search committee received an application from a rabbi who briefly mentioned guitar playing and singing as a vital part of his services.  TE has been most fortunate that Rabbi Farbman, Olga Markus, Sam, and Robert became members of the TE community.

Temple Emanuel is the story of an evolving and growing community.  Leave a Legacy is designed as an investment in the future of TE, and we want this story to keep going.

We were pleased and honored to participate in the Leave a Legacy program so enthusiastically and skillfully established by our Temple committee.  Members since 1975, we have embraced all that this community has to offer through many stages of our lives.  Our youngest son was named right here in the sanctuary.  Our children studied here, were bar mitzvahed here, and we have the joy now of bringing our six grandchildren here on occasion.  Our parents were buried by Rabbi Brieger.  It is important to us that this synagogue continue for future generations; we are overjoyed to attend services with the hum of little ones in the background.  Rabbi Farbman has energized and enriched Temple Emanuel.

We are aware that the future of many American reform synagogues is imperiled.  We see that younger families often view Temple membership in a different light.  The physical structures of our buildings grow older.  Somehow, we must fulfill the needs of aging families and teenagers; we must support families from diverse backgrounds and keep everything fresh—from the music to the prayerbooks, from the religious school to the Rabbi’s participation in spiritual/religious activities outside TE.

This takes financial resources as well as enthusiasm and shared history.  We want to do our part to be sure that Temple Emanuel will be strong and vibrant long after we are here.

Twenty-seven years ago we joined Temple Emanuel. We found a warm, joyous, musical, and vibrant community- some things never change!

Over the years, we experienced numerous transitions: from the old building that served as our sanctuary to the new sanctuary constructed in 1991 (Our son Scott’s Bar Mitzvah was the first Bar Mitzvah in the new sanctuary); and the removal of the house and the construction of our new addition.

Despite these changes, the constant at TE remains the sense of community. Years ago, our son Alex was badly injured and ended up as a patient at the Hospital For Special Surgery in New York City. The TE community helped us to get through this difficult time with comforting words, meals, and expressions of friendship. We have never forgotten those expressions of kindness, and we are constantly reminded of them as we respond now to the needs of others.

Both of us attribute our strong ties to TE to Rabbi Jerry Brieger. For Max, Jerry was a breath of fresh air- his joy and enthusiasm for TE was contagious. Max served on the board of directors, as vice-president twice and president for three years. Jerry helped Nancy learn Hebrew and inspired her to participate with three other women in an adult B’nai Mitzvah ceremony. Nancy remains actively involved in supporting TE’s choir, baking, and helping in fundraising events. Together we are the first husband and wife members of the TE band.

Our sense of community is now enhanced by the leadership, energy and wisdom of Rabbi Farbman and Olga Marcus. Their excitement is evident to all of us.

We view our membership and participation at TE as important and worthwhile. By setting aside bequests in our estate plans, we hope to assist this community so that in the future it will continue to remain strong and vibrant.

Charitable contributions have always been part of our family DNA. When I sold my chemical business in 1997, my wife Barbara and I each set up a trust that would provide income for the surviving spouse, while allowing the principal to grow. Upon my death, a portion of the principal will go to a group of charities. Since Temple Emanuel was a major part of our lives, it will be a major beneficiary of our trusts.

When I talk to members as part of the legacy committee, I, of course, encourage them to make a charitable commitment to Temple Emanuel in their estate. I recognize that many members have large families and want to provide for their children and grandchildren, but I feel strongly that every family should leave some part of their estate to charity, if not Temple Emanuel then to some other organization that has had an influence on their life, be it a university, an arts organization, a medical organization, a nature organization. or a food bank. This is a way that all of us can give back something to the society which we have all benefited from.

Our family moved to Connecticut in 1999.  The adjustment was difficult, especially for our 12-year-old daughter – it was her Bat Mitzvah year.  Finding a synagogue was a priority.  Friends in Washington recommended Temple Emanuel.  We visited for Shabbat services and vividly remember how warmly we were welcomed.  A few years later, Jean attended the celebration of Jerry Brieger’s 25^th year as Rabbi of TE.  There was such a strong sense of community and love that night – for the rabbi and among the congregation members – it confirmed Jean’s desire to become an active member.  Since then, she’s served on the board, sang in the choir, led services, given D’Var Torah, chanted for Torah services, helped organize Tikkun Olam and Adult Education programs, and served as President from 2008 to 2010.  We expect to be life-long members of TE, and our Legacy Commitment enables us to contribute to sustaining the synagogue for generations to come.

We joined TE a few years after relocating to Connecticut.  While we both had pretty typical Jewish upbringings, we had never been affiliated with a congregation during our time together.  Just before the High Holidays, Barbara challenged me to find us a synagogue to belong to or at least one where we could observe the holidays. One afternoon I stumbled into Temple Emanuel.  That first encounter was enough to convince me that I had found us a shul.  Even during our then short association, we learned just how remarkable this organization is – unquestioningly welcoming.  There were not any judgements based on position or status.  Just a warm, caring group that steps up for its membership under whatever the circumstances.  In good times, and sometimes not so good, the TE community takes care of its own.  The people of this congregation have become family to us.  While we both come at our faith from different points of view, TE has made it possible for both of us to observe and participate in so many ways.

We learned about the Leave a Legacy program soon after we joined.  While we have not been in a position to make many direct contributions during our time, it seemed like a very appropriate way to make a commitment to the future of Temple Emanuel.  It costs nothing up front to support this program.  In fact, it was this commitment that prompted us this past fall to have our wills prepared with a bequest to the continued success of Temple Emanuel.  I hope that everybody who reads this can reflect on similar experiences of their own and be inspired to make the same commitment that we did.  If there is one thing I have learned about Temple Emanuel, it’s that you will always get back more than you put in.  The only way for that to continue is for all of us to put at least a little something in.