President’s column – Page 5 – Temple Emanuel of Greater New Haven

First Days as President

I started my role as president of Temple Emanuel on July 1^st. It seems to me a large and forbidding task; the little voice on my shoulder is saying, “Don’t screw it up! We have a beautiful community, an inspirational rabbi, a rich tradition, and a future full of promise… if you don’t screw it up.” I lie awake at night thinking what I can do to do this job responsibly.

I am so lucky to start this job at such a wonderful time for Temple Emanuel. Under the remarkable leadership of President Melissa Perkal and Rabbi Michael Farbman, we have been part of a renewal over the last several years. Our sanctuary and school have transformed to “one campus” with a new education wing, and we have seen growth in our school enrollment, staff, and programs. The excitement among young families with children in our community is palpable. We have financial security with a balanced budget, funds for programming and for maintaining our building and grounds. We have a rabbi who daily goes above and beyond – – with spiritual leadership, lifecycle stewardship, inspirational teaching for young and old, attention to the sick and families in need, and a vision of our potential.

Most impressive to me, we have a tradition of involvement and commitment. How do we survive – and thrive – – as a small synagogue with only one full-time employee (the rabbi), a part-time school administrator, and part-time teachers, caretaker, bookkeeper, and office administrator? We succeed because so many members take an active part in our synagogue life. Our Board of Directors brings experience, wisdom, and excitement to our strategic thinking and planning for our future. Working groups or committees do great work with Caring Community assuring attention to families in need or transition, Ritual Committee working with the rabbi to craft our community practice, Building and Grounds doing all the work to keep our spaces functioning and safe, Garden Committee creating and maintaining our incredible expanding, beautiful garden, Aesthetics assuring a beautiful and appropriate space, Finance managing our precious dollars, Education for both children and adults, Tikkun Olam fulfilling our commitment to giving… and many more. Individual members find joy and friendship working together to keep TE our spiritual and community home.

Why do these committed members do it? I thought about this on the mid-June afternoon following our annual meeting. Directed by Anne Eisner, dozens of men, women, and children working in 90-degree heat moved large stones from a high pile behind the sanctuary to their new home in the gardens surrounding the buildings. Others prepared a picnic for the “laborers” with hamburgers (meat-full and meat-less), hot dogs (all beef, of course), fixings, and cold beverages (including beer, of course). Why?? Fellowship, commitment, love.

If as a new president, I am able to sleep at night, it will be because I can count on the many members who make the commitment to participate. We need you!! Please find what most interests you in our synagogue life. Join one of our working groups or committees, and share in the joy of community life. If the idea of this makes you hesitate, don’t hesitate too long… the Talmud says, “Three things are good in a little measure and bad in large: yeast, salt and hesitation.” (Berakot, 34a) As I look out on the next years for TE, I see promise, excitement, and a spiritual home alive with young laughter, learning, and strong community.

Alan Kliger

TE Annual Meeting of Members June 11 at 10 am

The annual meeting of the membership of TE will take place on Sunday, June 11 at 10 am. There will be coffee and bagels at 9:30 am. The membership will vote on the officers and directors for the fiscal year 2017-2018 and for the TE fiscal budget for 2017-2018.

Change, Commitment & Continuity—A Tale in 3 parts. Part 3: L’dor v’dor

Change: Amazingly, this is my last column as I finish my term as President at Temple Emanuel. It has been a privilege to serve, and moreover, to have one’s service accepted. I am humbly grateful to Temple Emanuel for the sacred opportunity to have helped lead TE over the last three years. In addition, it has been three years of change and growth. From completion of the Jonas and Barbara Miller education wing, to the replacement of the old HVACs, and placement of the solar panels, we have done lots of work on the physical plant of our TE home. We have strengthened our school with a part time director, improved our bookkeeping system, and started our Federation Endowment and Legacy funds. Even more importantly, we have added families, staff, and programs that make our TE home a place where people want to come, learn, share, and experience Judaism.

Commitment: Without the commitment of our many TE members over these last several years nothing would have gotten done. I would like to acknowledge with deep appreciation the truly generous support I have gotten from my fantastic fellow members as we have journeyed together. A very smart editor of the Shofar once counseled me that if I list names, I will undoubtedly leave off one or two of the most important. I have tried to heed her warning. But, I can say that I have been blessed by the amazing help of the TE Board and officers, the Rabbi, the director of the school, the bookkeeper, the office administrator, and the caretaker. But it is all the other members who teach, head events, champion causes, raise funds, do publicity and communications, create beauty (outside and in), cook, schlepp, and otherwise provide the real hands on work that I am most grateful to. We are a community of “do-ers”.

Continuity: I am optimistic that we are a growing community on the move. Come help be part of that energy that moves us. The Annual meeting is on June 11; besides the bagels, you will have the opportunity to voice your opinion and vote for the budget, the slate of officers, and the new Board members for the coming year. It is a group of individuals that are ready and able to continue our success. L’dor v’dor

Change, Commitment & Continuity—A Tale in Three Parts. Part 2.

Change: There could be little doubt that we are in a time of change (no matter what your political sentiment) and that change can be unsettling. I find that when things are very far out of my control or are difficult or troubling that by acting on a very small, local level it is possible to affect change and feel better about the world. Temple Emanuel has many ways for you to be involved in improving the world on a local level, and it can start with tzedakah.

Commitment: The Jewish ideals of tzedakah were summarized and taught by Moses Maimonides, a great teacher who lived in Spain during the 12^th century CE. Maimonides believed that tzedakah is like a ladder with eight rungs; each successive rung represents a higher form of giving. They are:

The person who gives reluctantly and with regret.
The person who gives graciously, but less than one should.
The person who gives what one should, but only after being asked.
The person who gives before being asked.
The person who gives without knowing to whom he or she gives, although the recipient knows the identity of the donor.
The person who gives without making his or her identity known.
The person who gives without knowing to whom he or she gives. The recipient does not know from whom he or she receives.
The person who helps another to become self-supporting by a gift or a loan or by finding employment for the recipient.

Continuity: For Jews, the Talmud instructs that assisting the poor is not an act of grace on the part of the donor, but a duty. We are all obligated to give (even if we receive). So where will you help – with toiletries and diaper bank donations that the Men’s Club is organizing, with Abraham’s Tent that TE is participating in, with money or a job for one of our JCARR families that we are helping to resettle? Please reach out and continue to make the change in the world that you want to see.

Change, Commitment, & Continuity

A Tale in Three Parts

Part 1

CHANGE: Remember, the first 7:30pm service at TE will be on January 20, 2017. The Family Service remains at 6:30pm on the first Friday of each month, and on January 13^th we have a special Martin Luther King Service at Mishkan Israel at 7:30pm. At the end of June, we will again send out a Survey Monkey to see what people thought of the change to see if we plan to continue it or to make other changes. The other possible change brewing is a switch to a new prayerbook for Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur (see the Rabbi’s Summer Shofar column for more on the mahzor). The Ritual Committee will be leading several focus groups for people to interact with Mishkan HaNafesh. Please call Barbara Berkowitz or Barbara Goldhamer to be involved in one of them.

COMMITMENT: Our members’ commitment to our community is so fabulous. I can only look on, cheer, and be thankful for their hard work. The last few months have seen some wonderful projects completed: the High Holy food drive collected 3.500 pounds of food under Will Sherman’s leadership, dozens of turkeys were donated to Downtown Evening Soup Kitchen at Thanksgiving under the watchful eye of Peter Stolzman, and 146 baskets were created by the school and some adult volunteers under the organizational skills of Julia Katsovich – one of our madrichim. Julia is the first teen to head such an ambitious project, and it was a smashing success. During this time Laurel Shader, the band, and the choir got together to perform, and Risé Siegel and friends helped to organize our first Annual Shir Magic concert in memory of Jerry Brieger z’l; thus, I believe we have solidified our reputation as the “sing-agogue” in the area! Put in your calendars now the Debbie Friedman concert by our band and choirs at the Towers on February 12^th and Yale Whiffenpoofs in concert at TE on February 26^th.

CONTINUITY: It with great pleasure that I can announce that Rabbi Farbman has agreed to lead the congregation for another five years and that he and the Board have agreed on his contract. Rabbi Farbman has been essential to the growth and renewed vitality of our community, and we can look forward to continuing to go from strength to strength in the coming years.

The Times They Are A-changin’

In 1963, songwriter Bob Dylan wrote, “the times they are a-changin.” For Temple Emanuel this is true in more ways than one! Daylight Savings will soon end; we will have a new President in the White House; and the results of the TE Service time survey are in and are being acted upon. Whether or not Bob Dylan decides to accept the Nobel Laurette in literature I think he got it right when he said, “If your time to you is worth savin’, Then you better start swimmin’, Or you’ll sink like a stone, For the times they are a-changin’.” And I believe TE has the ability to change with the tides of our growing congregation (165 member units strong now!).

For many years the time for the start of services has been the subject of animated discussion for the Ritual Committee and for the community. Three years ago the Ritual Committee charged the Board with the task of looking at the issue and seeing if we needed to change. Our first explorations into this task involved discussions with individuals and small groups and a paper survey. This gave us good information but didn’t represent a majority of the congregation (only about 71 responses). So the Survey Monkey was created and was answered by 135 members.

Briefly, when asked, 57% of the responders preferred a late service with 55% preferring the 7:30pm start time. Of the 43% of the responders who preferred an earlier service, 58% preferred the 6:30pm time. In both groups there were about 20% with no preference. While this is not a scientifically validated survey, it does give us a feel of where we are as a congregation. The Board feels they have enough information to act upon and begin a small test of change for 6 months.

Beginning January 1, 2017 we will begin our usual service at 7:30pm instead of 8:00pm. The Family Service will remain at 6:30pm on the first Friday of the month. At the end of June, we will again send out a survey to see what people thought of the change and if we plan to continue it or make other changes. I believe we still need to provide a few more 6:30pm opportunities for our congregants, but we don’t want to create a confusing, unwieldy schedule.

Thank you to all of you who provided this valuable input. Thank you to Robin Levine-Ritterman for spearheading the effort, creating the Survey Monkey, and presenting the results to the Board. Thank you to the Board for voting on a change. I am looking forward to hearing from many of you over the next few months.

Belonging

Why belong? If you are reading this, I am probably already “preaching to the choir” as they say. Belonging to a synagogue community allows an individual to be enfolded in a group that is ready to celebrate and honor life cycle events together. It is a place where some of our “longings” can be met: spirituality, knowledge, music, food and friends—a Jewish home. Psychology research finds that individuals who have a sense of belonging to a larger community have improved motivation, health, and happiness compared with those who don’t. There is great comfort in knowing that one is not alone and that all people struggle and have difficult times.

This summer we lost a beloved leader, colleague, and member of TE—Rabbi Gerald Brieger. His life full of song, stories, study, and fun infused TE for almost 40 years. Looking around the packed room at the funeral and at the Briegers’ home, one could feel his continued presence. His warmth and love of the community set the tone of who we are. Rabbi Farbman and the current community will set the tone of where we are going. Our mission statement in our by-laws is a well-written but many pronged statement that defines what we aim to accomplish. However, it doesn’t define the vision of who we are. This year the Board is going to take on the challenge of defining this vision. Please speak with members of the Board and let them know what you think.

Our banner announcing the upcoming school year states: “you belong here.” Having a sense of belonging is a common experience. Belonging means acceptance as a member or being part of a larger enterprise. A sense of belonging is a human need, just like the need for food and shelter. Feeling that you belong is most important in seeing value in life and in coping with intensely painful emotions. Some find belonging to a church or synagogue or mosque, some with friends, some with family, and some on Twitter or other social media. Some see themselves as connected only to one or two people. Others believe and feel a connection to all people, to humanity. Some struggle to find a sense of belonging, and their loneliness is physically painful for them. We have a fantastic community; now is the time to get your friends to belong with us.

I wish each of you a sweet new year full of belonging.

Gratitude, Again

I haven’t mentioned Mussar practice in months….it seems like it is time to begin again. Repetition is one of the essential parts of this practice. You must identify traits you want to work on and then revisit them again and again. Although I am always grateful to TE, the end of the year seems like a wonderful time to thank all of the TE community for their willingness to participate, give-back, pay forward, lead, follow and belong to an extraordinary group of people.

If we include holiday services, Religious School events, social events and fund raisers, we have had something going on almost every week of the year. Thank you to the many TE members who led each of these projects. Thanks to Hilary, Ariette, Jodi, Kim and the Rabbi for providing the professional framework within which we volunteer. Thanks to the Board, the Executive Committee, all the Committee chairs and members who kept us on track. The daily/weekly activities are vital to our strength as a community. Thanks to the “worker bees” who have kept our congregational life humming: Shabbat dinners- Randi Rubin Rodriguez and Fran Grodzinski, High Holy Day kiddushim- Robin Levine-Ritterman, Passover seder- Lily Katsovich & Olga Marcus, Music- Laurel Shader and the band, organizing Friday night Onegs- Barbara Goldhamer, creating the Shofar- Caryn Shaffer and Jen Poulsen, and getting the Shofar out- the Larkins.

One Campus: We are “One” and done with the project. From digging the foundation to erecting the building, to re-landscaping the grounds, to affixing the mezuzah, to taking down the old House–we did it! We have moved on to what the synagogue is really about: people not buildings.

Going Green: This last year we have put up solar panels, replaced our bulbs with LED ones and put in an energy efficient HVAC. We continue to find ways to shrink our carbon footprint. And then, of course, we love the real green of our lovely grounds!

Tikkun Olam: It has been another vibrant year with our second blood drive, amazing success with the Food drive, our yearly school Hanukkah basket program, our Martin Luther King school activity, our 7^th year doing Abraham’s Tent and the resettlement of our first refugee family as part of JCARR.

Amazing Adult Education: We have had a successful year of small group learning, speakers, outings to plays and exhibits, a weekend of learning, and films. A special thank you to Bennet Graff for leading the new series on Jewish short stories

Men’s Club and Sisterhood: These revitalized groups have had book clubs, lectures and outings. They have also provided generous monetary gifts to TE for the Memorial Boards, college scholarship, and other necessary TE items.

Leave A Legacy: Our thriving legacy program is one of the best in the community.

All this help has made my life as President easy. It’s allowed me to concentrate not just on money but on doing the right thing: on building and sustaining relationships, so that we to change our own lives, or community and the world.

Joy Abounds

Spring is a time of growth, celebrations, graduations, and special recognition.

By the time this Shofar reaches you, the spring flowers will be in their last beautiful display and TE will be in the middle of its’ b’nai mitzvah season. We have had the joyous celebrations of the Feuerstein and Ariker families thus far and look forward to the simchas of the Aferzon’s, Rivkin’s, Shanbrom’s, Aviad’s, Sauberman’s, and Boyd’s families in May and June. We will need to wait until October to celebrate with the Fried-Green family. Check out the special information on each of these young adults in this edition of the Shofar. Remember the entire congregation is invited to the service that marks the start of Josh, Levi, Matt, Vanessa, Sarah, Oren, Abby, Annabelle, and Sam’s adult membership in the TE community. Mazel tov to all, we couldn’t be more proud of you!

Special congratulations to Laura Adams for winning the Susan Pinsky Bleeks College Scholarship. This $1,000 scholarship is sponsored by the Board, the Sisterhood, and the Men’s Club and is given to a high school senior who has maintained a “B” or better in school, is active in TE life, and has written an essay discussing how Temple Emanuel has played a role in defining who they are. Read Laura’s entire essay in this edition of the Shofar and come celebrate with Laura and her family on June 24^th when she receives her award.

Celebrate your TE membership this June. Our Annual Meeting is on June 5^th; next year’s budget and slate of Officers and Board members will be voted upon. Come have a bagel, chat with friends hear the Annual Report and vote on these important issues. We will have a special Shabbat dinner on June 10^th to thank the previous board and celebrate the new Board. It will be a relaxed time to get together with TE friends for dinner. Please plan on coming I look forward to seeing you there!

Construction-Demolition-Reconstruction

Judaism is wonderful at celebrating life cycle events and marking the passage of time. By the time you are reading this column, the House will have finally been taken down and the area filled in and graded. Yes, this project ran into a few road-bumps but it is finally done. So, (drumroll) this officially ends the “One Campus” campaign!! First, a huge thank-you to all the individuals who worked so hard to make it happen. This was no small task: from thinkers to donors to doers, the entire community pulled together to make it happen. But now where do we go from here?

Why, back to construction again. No, not a building project (yet) but the reconstruction of who we want to be and where we want to be going. There is so much we offer to so many groups: school-age education, adult education, life-cycle celebrations, holy day celebrations, tikkun olam projects, and social events. Can we do it all? Can we afford to do it all? Do we need to add something new: day care, preschool, more family events, elder care, openness to the LGBT community, interfaith programming to name a few? We are going to talk about it over the next several months. Hopefully we will be doing some workshops on leadership (if we get chosen by the URJ to be in their pilot program) or at least talking about leadership. TE Board elections are coming up in June, and I would love to have some new faces involved in the joys of running their community.

This is where you come in. Please volunteer to work on a project, sit on a committee, be on the Board, or hold an Office. Let me or the Rabbi or Jodi or the Office or Lew Shaffer (head of the nominating committee) or any of the Committee Chairs know how you would like to be involved. I wish I could tap each of you on the shoulder and ask you personally, but I just can’t. Consider this your “tap on the shoulder.”