On Memory and Ritual

Speak to the Israelite people and instruct them to make for themselves fringes (tzitzit) on the corners of their garments throughout the ages; let them attach a cord of blue to the fringe (tzitzit) at each corner. That shall be your fringe (tzitzit); look at it and recall all the commandments of Adonai and observe them, so that you do not follow your heart and eyes in your lustful urge. Thus you shall be reminded to observe all My commandments and to be holy to your God. (Numbers 15:38-40.)

This paragraph from the Torah may be very familiar to you – or perhaps only a portion of it is. It describes the Divine commandment to wear tzitzit, or fringes, on the corners of our garments as permanent reminders to follow and observe the mitzvot, commandments of the Torah. The text in full appears as part of the third paragraph of Shema in the prayerbook, restored to full length of the text in the Mishkan Tefilah and Mishkan haNefesh from the shortened versions that have been standard in American Reform siddurim, where tzitzit was not mentioned, even though the reminder to follow God’s commandments was very much retained.

So what is tzitzit? The rabbis of the Mishnah looked for ways to define and codify what these words were referring to, and so the tzitzit that consists of strings (8) and knots (5) was designed to remind us of the 613 commandments (with Hebrew tzitzit adding up to 600 in gematria). But the knots and strings are mostly there to remind us of something bigger – Judaism, commandments/mitzvot, rituals and observance. It’s a mnemonic device, a reminder – when your eye catches it, you will remember. My teacher Rabbi Lionel Blue (alav hashalom) used to describe tying knots in the handkerchief as a child, to remember something – and tzitzit is exactly that!

In more traditional settings, Jews interpret the commandment of tzitzit as something constantly required – the ‘tallit katan’ is an undergarment that contains tzitzit and is worn at all times as part of clothing. For non-orthodox Jews the tallit, a prayer shawl, is the garment that has tzitzit attached to it, and is worn at specific ritual moments. The traditional rules of tallit specify that it is worn during the daytime hours – so usually only for the morning and afternoon services, with exception of Yom Kippur which is treated as one long day, and hence the tallit is worn for Kol Nidrei (evening service) and then for the entire day of Yom Kippur. In addition, Shaliach Tzibbur, the person leading prayer, often wears the tallit even when leading services at night – that is why you will always see me wearing a tallit on the bimah, night or day, but not if I simply attend the evening service led by others. Traditionally women are considered exempt from the mitzvah of wearing tallit, since it is considered a time-bound mitzvah – but contrary to some popular beliefs, nowhere does it prohibit women from wearing a tallit, and so the non-orthodox movements have embraced the practice of women and men wearing the tallitot as a sacred ritual.

Our ritual committee recently discussed the wearing of tallitot and kippot on the bimah at TE. It opted against creating any kind of formal policy on the matter, reflecting the long held reform tradition of informed choice. It has also decided to encourage all those coming up to the bimah, especially as part of the Torah service, to wear a tallit where appropriate. (Following a wide-spread minhag (custom), we reserve the wearing of tallit to Jewish adults, or teens who have reached the age of majority, having celebrated their bar or bat mitzvah). Tallitot have always been available by the entrance into our sanctuary, but moving forward we will also make some available right by the bimah in case you are offered a mitzvah in the service or an Aliya to the Torah. If you have never experienced wearing a tallit, please let me know and I will gladly help you recite a blessing for donning the tallit. If you own one, please bring it with you next time you sign up for an Aliya on Friday night, or when you come to Shabbat Morning minyan or a bar/bat mitzvah ceremony. Then we can chant the words of the Shema together and fulfill this ancient Jewish tradition! Let me know if you have any questions, and I look forward to seeing you on the bimah, wearing your tallit, soon!

Restoring the Holocaust Memorial Scroll #1178

Earlier this year a Torah scribe visited TE to inspect our Torah scrolls, provide minor repairs and to teach our students and our teachers a little about the scribal art. In the process of his visit, we discovered a few minor fixes that were required for two of our scrolls – which were properly performed. We also discovered that one of our Torah scrolls will need a number of serious and costly repairs, rendering the scroll not kosher. But there was also a piece of amazingly good news: the Holocaust Memorial Scroll #1178, the first-ever TE Torah scroll which has been part of every Bar and Bat Mitzvah at Temple Emanuel from 1967 until 2007 while badly damaged, is NOT beyond repair! The skilled scribe can repair and restore this very special Torah! It will take time and money, but we can reclaim this Torah scroll, and bring it back to serve the Jewish people in the best way it knows how – by using it to share the words of Torah with people gathered in this sanctuary to celebrate Shabbat and special occasions.

As many of you heard me explain on Rosh Hashanah, I read from this very special, currently non-kosher scroll on that morning. But I did so with a mission: to invite you all to join me in a sacred task of repairing and restoring this Torah scroll, to reclaim a wonderful TE tradition, and to renew our commitment to keeping the memory of the Jews of Horazdovice alive – not just by seeing their Torah (as it is currently displayed in a special glass cabinet in our lobby), but by reading from their Torah.

On Sunday, November 24 the Torah scribe will return to Temple Emanuel, this time to begin a process of restoration. Every TE family will have an opportunity to help restore this scroll – literally by writing in individual letters (with the help of the scribe, of course). Every TE family will have an opportunity to schedule a personal ‘Torah restoration appointment’ – we really do want EVERY member of TE to have this sacred opportunity. As we restore this sacred scroll together, we will make every effort not just to honor its long, and at times painful history, but to also remember the joy of community that wrote it, and the joy of our community that has used it over the last 50 years. Our 7th graders, inspired and supported by the Barbara Rosenthal memorial fund, lovingly created by the Weber family right here at TE, already began a special project of researching the history of the Jewish community of Horazdovice, and will present their findings on November 24th.

Next year we plan to use this Torah scroll again during the High Holy Days, with all its symbolism, and all its history. Next year it will be kosher. THIS is how we respond to hatred: by building a strong Jewish community, by raising Jews with a strong Jewish identity.  By continuing to invest in the JOY of being Jewish – not the OY. THIS is how we keep Judaism alive.

Financial Requirements for the TE Torah Restoration Project

There are 3 areas that will require financial support:

1.           Restoration of the Holocaust Scroll (including the actual cost of Scribal repair and restoration, as well as the cost of special visit(s) from the scribe to Temple Emanuel, enabling us all to participate in the sacred task of restoration

2.           Repair of Temple Emanuel’s other Torah Scrolls and maintenance of all our scrolls, including the Holocaust Memorial Scroll #1178.

3.           Holocaust education for our religious school and for adults.

Several generous donors have already reached out to support these activities. We are soliciting funds to assure we can do all of these tasks in relation to our Torah scrolls and Holocaust education as a combined project.

Our fundraising goal for this project is $50,000. We have already secured nearly $30,000 toward that goal, part of which is an $8,000 matching challenge – – matching dollar for dollar contributions that other TE families will commit.

If you would like to discuss any of these details or offer your generous support to this special project, please speak to Alan Kliger or Melissa Perkal.

Audacious Hospitality

“Temple Emanuel is a warm, caring, and open community. As a small but growing Reform synagogue, our members have the opportunity to know one another and to have meaningful input into how our synagogue operates. Temple Emanuel is a participatory, diverse, non-judgmental, and intellectually vibrant congregation. Our membership comes from many towns in the greater New Haven area, and the Valley, adding to the diversity of our congregation.”

This paragraph comes from the homepage of our website. Much of what I love about Temple Emanuel is embodied in these words. We are warm, caring and open. We are a participatory congregation, diverse in many ways. We work hard to welcome new members and visitors. Temple Emanuel embraces other values dear to my heart. Again from our website: “Tikkun Olam (healing the world), social action, and social justice are important values of the modern Reform movement and a priority at Temple Emanuel.”

With all of this in mind I often think about how TE can do even better on these fronts. How could we welcome members or guests who cannot walk up the steps to the bimah to accept an aliyah? How could we welcome those who don’t feel comfortable using a bathroom gendered male or female? My wife Barb and I have worked hard in our lives to be visible and proud lesbian parents, making sure that our kids feel comfortable with their family and accepted in their community. Do others feel as comfortable at Temple Emanuel being who they are? Do Jews of color feel at home at TE?

Being welcoming and inclusive, and being sensitive to people who are outside the majority, are values I feel strongly about. The Union of Reform Judaism (URJ), the umbrella organization for North American Reform Judaism, has an initiative to embrace the diversity of the Jewish community. This initiative is called Audacious Hospitality, “… a transformative spiritual practice rooted in the belief that we will be a stronger, more vibrant Jewish community when we fully welcome and incorporate the diversity that is the reality of modern Jewish life.” The URJ has developed a number of resources for member congregations, including an Audacious Hospitality toolkit. This educational program helps congregations examine the welcome they give and helps to strengthen the relationships we have with one another.

Temple Emanuel is a wonderful congregation. I feel joy when I sit down at services or join families at the asephah and feel the connection and warmth of our community. I would like to go even further to make every household feel that they have been seen and heard, and that their voices are important to the whole. I invite everyone who is interested to join in a discussion about how TE might become more audaciously hospitable. We will meet on Sunday, November 10th at 10 am. If you are interested but cannot attend that date, please let me know. As always, I am interested in your thoughts and ideas, and can be contacted at president@tegnh.org

The Annual Meeting of Temple Emanuel Members June 2, 2019 at 6 pm.

Please Join Us for:

The Annual Meeting of Members

Sunday, June 2, 2019

5:30 pm – Pizza and Salad dinner (free- please register!): Schmooze and catch up with friends
6:00 pm – Meeting and voting In the Social Hall
The Annual Meeting Notice, the Board Slate, and Proposed Budget have been sent to all the members of the congregation via email. If you did NOT receive a notice, or if you would like a paper copy, please let Ruth know ASAP.

Holding a Torah Scroll…

Torah scrolls are very special. It is an incredible honor and privilege to read from the Torah scroll in front of the congregation. It requires skill and effort, and lots of preparation for each such occasion – a labor of love on behalf of the community and of the Jewish people. Holding the Torah scroll does not require a special skill (perhaps some strength is useful), but it can be a truly moving, emotional experience. When holding the Torah, whether for the first time as a bar or bat mitzvah, or for the 100th time, we cannot help but be in awe of the incredible chain of tradition, of hundreds upon hundreds of generations of Jews that cherished their Torah, and passed it on, leaving a small mark that perhaps cannot be seen, but can be felt by us as we accept the Torah from their hands and carry it forward. The sense of continuity, of importance of ritual and of connection with our people’s past is palpable whenever one holds the Torah — a truly awe-inspiring feeling.

As I held TE’s Holocaust Memorial Scroll #1178, and as I marched in a quiet procession of over 70 Czech memorial scrolls, I was overwhelmed for a moment by a different kind of emotion. In my arms I held not only an incredible treasure of the Jewish people that was created and lovingly maintained by previous generations of Jews I did not know, but a scroll that belonged to the destroyed Jewish community of Horazdovice, a community that perished in the flames of the Holocaust. This was not just the Torah connecting me to the Jewish past – this was a moment to acknowledge, once again, that the future of this Torah’s Jewish community of Horazdovice was wiped out by the cruelty of hate and yet somehow, miraculously, the orphaned Torah has survived and found its way into the loving hands of our community, right here in Orange, CT. Scroll after scroll paraded through the room packed with over 800 people from some 80+ synagogues in the Tri-State area, honoring the painful past – and celebrating the miraculous survival of Judaism. I will never forget this moment and this feeling.

TE delegation at the gathering of Holocaust Memorial Scrolls.

I have invited other members of TE who were able to attend to share some of their experiences from that day. I hope that their words can help you experience some of that special occasion:

“Tuesday, February 5th was truly a spiritually and personally meaningful experience for me. Watching the processional of more than 70 Czechoslovakian Holocaust scrolls, with our rabbi carrying our 1850 scroll, was a moving sight. To be there with a group of folks from my TE family made everything even more special and exciting, starting with the difficulty of parking at the train station to our rolling, sometimes party-like conversations on the train back and forth, and our long walks from Grand Central Station to Temple Emanu-El and back. It is such a privilege for our congregation to have been entrusted with one of these rescued, restored scrolls. In addition, it now appears that the scroll we retired in 2007 (to be only displayed) may indeed be able to be restored and put back into use. As one of those lucky enough to have chanted from that scroll during the retirement service, I would feel even more fortunate to once again chant from it in the near future. Any such opportunity would enhance my feeling of connection to those who perished for their beliefs and heritage, and for whom I may speak when chanting.” — Barbara Berkowitz

“Having convinced myself that one of the Czech scrolls must surely have come from the shul of my grandmother Adele Kolish Reyman, I felt that I needed to be at this rare reunion of the Czech scrolls residing in the Tri-State area. Reading and hearing about these scrolls, gently touching the covers, viewing the IDs affixed to the wood, and seeing the solemn walk with the Torahs were profoundly moving experiences.

Who can say that Adele, her four older brothers and their parents did not see one of these very scrolls I was seeing? No one can say it is not there, so it is. I needed to be there.”  — Barbara Miller

“Awesome, proud, sad, memorable, honored, humbled, grateful.

These are some of the emotions that the ten Temple Emanuel members felt as they saw the parade of more than 70 Czech Holocaust scrolls from all over the United States come down the aisle at Temple Emanu-El in New York City on February 5th. This was the largest gathering of the Czech scrolls ever in one place. The Memorial Scroll Trust has 1,564 scrolls on permanent loan to congregations throughout the world. Temple Emanuel’s scroll from Horazdovice came to the Temple Emanuel congregation in 1966 under the leadership of then-Presidents Lois and Paul Levine. It has been used in countless Friday night services, b’nai mitzvah services and High Holy Day services over the last 50 years.

During World War II, the Jews of Bohemia and Moravia were wiped out. The people had been lost, but amazingly 1,564 Torah Scrolls from more than 122 congregations had been saved. Westminster Synagogue became the home to these Czech Scrolls in February of 1964. There they were stored, restored and then sent back out into the world by the Memorial Trust Fund. The evening of February 5th brought 70 of these scrolls and their congregants together for the first time.” — Melissa Perkal

We stand together for Kaddish

Joan and I recently heard a string quartet concert devoted entirely to elegies. The music was so moving, the audience so quiet, I thought about how we give voice to support each other at the time of loss.

At TE, our custom is to stand together alongside mourners, and recite the Kaddish together. This ancient prayer was written in Aramaic, the common language in Talmudic times, so that everyone would understand what was being said. It is a prayer of praise for Adonai. In most traditional congregations, reciting the Kaddish is an obligation of a male mourner, or close male relatives. Others are not obligated to recite the Kaddish, but TE’s custom is for all to stand with the bereaved, in memory of the departed, and in support of those remaining.

In our wider culture, the elegiac tradition recognizes that mourners, sometimes wordless, receive critical support from others who stand together and share the sorrow. Elegiac poems and music move each of us as we think about the one who has died, our own mortality and beyond to the miracle of our short lives.  

Mary Frye wrote this elegiac poem for a Jewish girl who had fled the holocaust, only to receive news that her mother had died in Germany. Frye saw this girl weeping inconsolably because she could not visit her mother’s grave to share her tears of love and bereavement.

Do not stand at my grave and weep

 by Mary Elizabeth Frye

 Do not stand at my grave and weep:

 I am not there; I do not sleep.

 I am a thousand winds that blow,

 I am the diamond glints on snow,

 I am the sun on ripened grain,

 I am the gentle autumn rain.

 When you awaken in the morning’s hush

 I am the swift uplifting rush

 Of quiet birds in circling flight.

 I am the soft starshine at night.

 Do not stand at my grave and cry:

 I am not there; I did not die.

Temple Emanuel Annual Scholar in Residence March 8-10, 2019

RABBI URI REGEV, President of ‘HIDDUSH – For Religious Freedom and Equality in Israel’.

Friday, March 8  

5:30pm Tot Shabbat Welcome Shabbat with joy and songs (for under 5s & their families)

6:00 pm Shabbat dinner – Please RSVP for dinner/lunch online

7:30 pm Kabbalat Shabbat Service. Rabbi Regev will speak on “The Challenge of Pluralism in Israel: Can Israel be Truly Jewish and Democratic?”

Saturday, March 9

10:00 am Parashat Pekudei – Torah Study with Rabbi Regev.

11:30 am    Dairy lunch.  RSVP for dinner/lunch

12:30 – 2:00 pm “Kotel, Conversion, and Rabbinic Blacklists: What Are the Effects of the Latest Conflicts on Israel-Diaspora Relations?”

Sunday, March 10

10:15 – 11:45 am  “Israel heading to the polls April 9: How will the elections impact Religious Freedom and Israel-US relations“

About our Speaker: Rabbi Regev serves as the President and CEO of the educational and advocacy Israel-Diaspora partnership, “Freedom of Religion for Israel” and of its Israeli counterpart, “Hiddush— For Freedom of Religion and Equality ”. A past President of the World Union for Progressive Judaism, Rabbi Regev served as founding chair, and later as executive director and legal counsel, of the Israel Religious Action Center (IRAC), the advocacy group established by the Reform movement in Israel.

This weekend is generously supported by an Anonymous TE Leave a Legacy Donor.

A year of the Mensch

By Olga Markus

Tell me and I forget, teach me and I remember, involve me and I learn. – Benjamin Franklin

 

As a teacher and a member of Temple Emanuel Religious School faculty, I love this quote for it expresses a deep truth: the best education happens when we make it a part of who we are. This year, as we are getting ready to open our doors to our new and returning students and their families, we strive to create meaningful ways to embrace new experiences, to gain valuable lessons, and to acquire new skills and perspectives along the way.

At the end of last year, our faculty decided that in the true spirit of the TE community, ‘Be A Mensch’ would become an overall theme for our 2018-19 school year. Mensch is a Yiddish word meaning “a person of integrity and honor”. Being a “mensch” is not at all related to success, wealth or social status. A mensch is many things and one simple thing.  A mensch does what is right – because it is right – towards family, community, towards strangers, at home and in public.  When people behave with honesty, integrity, consideration and respect, they themselves prosper, as does society at large. By spreading mensch-like behavior we can make our society happier, healthier and more successful. In the framework of our school this year we are planning to have school-wide and grade-specific programs that will encourage all of us to be respectful of ourselves and each other, of our beautiful building that we all share, and of those who put in numerous hours and much effort to keep it clean, safe and welcoming for all of us. We will continue to engage with our Jewish traditions and wisdom, and to learn from them how to be more aware and respectful of each other’s needs and personal spaces. We hope to become mensches who have courage to do the right thing, to stand up for what’s right, and to admit when we are wrong.  We want our students to care about their community, about Am Israel, and about the world.

There are, of course, different recipes for making mensches, but I know together we can come up with a good one!

Ben Zoma (a 2nd century CE Jewish teacher) said: “Who is wise? He who learns from every person.” (Pirkei Avot 4:1). Education comes in all shapes and from all sources. Everyone has something to teach. A key to growth is being open to learning from all different types of people. Our students are blessed to have so many role models among TE members. We call them different names – elves, angels, volunteers – but it all comes down to being true mensches in the deepest meaning of this word.

There is so much to look forward to in the new school year at Temple Emanuel! Our last year’s junior teachers became full members of the faculty, and we are so proud of the four high school seniors serving as true role models. We can’t wait to see all of our students and madrichim, and to welcome new families. Our school year begins on Sunday, September 23rd with a sukkah build at 9:30 am, followed by a community potluck lunch in the sukkah. We will also be celebrating Simchat Torah and welcoming new students to our Hebrew school on September 30th at 6:00 pm – hope to see you all there!

We look forward to new experiences that will involve our students and their families in true learning through doing, being, engaging.