Rabbi Michael Farbman – Page 8 – Temple Emanuel of Greater New Haven

AFTER SOCIAL DISTANCING: SCHOOL CONSTRUCTION BEGINS !!

In the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, it seems hard to see our way through to the other side. What will the “new normal” look like when this is over? Will we ever sit together in concert halls, baseball stadiums, or in our sanctuary? Will our school once again echo with children’s laughter and excitement? Will we ever again shake hands or hug each other at TE? Will we reach out holding our neighbors and sway to Havdalah? Will we unmask to see each other smile?

In the past 2 months, my life was plunged into professional obsession with this worldwide pandemic. The American Society of Nephrology (ASN) recruited me to lead a COVID-19 response team – a group of kidney specialists from around the country to best protect the vulnerable 500,000 Americans with kidney disease who receive dialysis treatment. Working closely with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), we have published best evidence guidance for care, we have deployed tools to understand the extent of life-threatening kidney failure this infection can cause, and we have worked with hospitals, dialysis facility owners, industry and government to get these practices to the hospital bedside and to the dialysis unit chairside. I’ve spent too much time answering reporters’ questions from the New York Times, Washington Post, Pro Publica and Politico. So – it has been difficult for me to see life after this emergency.

Of course there will be life after COVID-19. It may be different. Every time we go through TSA screening at the airport I am reminded that 9/11 changed our lives for a decade. Exactly how life will change is not yet clear. What is clear, is that we will survive — and thrive — and that Temple Emanuel will again come alive with services, children learning, laughter, joy… and a strengthened commitment to our Jewish community.

With the faith that TE will remain a central part of our community’s life, and the commitment that TE will respond to our growing school needs, we are going ahead with our planned school expansion. Construction for 2 new classrooms has begun! We are aiming to have these classrooms ready for use in September/October for our new school year.

The cost of this project will be approximately $250,000. In addition we hope to raise enough money to replace the room dividers between the sanctuary and social hall that are old and are falling apart. Thanks to several very generous major donors, we have about 70% of needed funds in hand, and promises from about 20 additional families for support.

To get the rest of the way — we need support from all members and school families. We know that this is a very difficult financial time for many — the “shutdown” has caused many to lose income or lose jobs. The market declines have reduced pension values. These are uncertain times. With these realities in mind, our board of directors urges each of us to consider carefully what we can do to assure we can complete this vital project. Please think through to a life after COVID-19 – as I have tried to do. Please be as generous as you can — for our children and their school. TE’s school is almost unique as a growing and vital beacon of our future.

You will find here a school expansion form that you can use to make a contribution. Your payments can be planned through this year, or into the next 2 years if needed.

Thank you, thank you! Stay safe, as we all find our way through these times.

Alan Kliger

CONNECTING WHILE SEPARATE

The Coronavirus pandemic is a time like none other in our lives. The loss of control, of daily routine and physical intimacy have impacted many of us in deep and troubling ways. Whether we are alone, without an income, trying to home school our children while working full time, or worrying about loved ones that we cannot visit, the stressors around us have grown exponentially. It is at times like this that we truly understand the importance of being part of a larger community. I am impressed at how the Temple Emanuel community has filled a void in our lives. Weekly Shabbat services provide structure and a needed, though brief, connection to others as we wave
and say “Shabbat Shalom” via Zoom. The TE religious school immediately set up online learning to replace in-school classes, helping our children retain some normalcy and routine in their lives.
Our members have reached out and checked in with each other, have made
meals, gone grocery shopping for those unable to do so and provided online
support in how we cope with the stress.
Members continue to work in our gardens, keeping TE beautiful for when we all return. And our contractor has started work on the school building addition, helping to promote our vision of the future during this time of uncertainty.
The larger Jewish community is there for us as well. The Jewish Federation of Greater New Haven has been doing its own outreach to members in the community and has set up emergency grants to Jewish agencies, synagogues and individuals in need. They have been providing tech support, running errands and providing online programming to help us as we make our way through this crisis. We are all a part of many communities —our families, our friends, our workplaces, organizations to which we belong.
As a member of Temple Emanuel, please know that we are here for you. If there is something you need, please reach out to me or to the Rabbi and we will try to get you the help you need. Thanks to all of you who have volunteered your time and kindness. We don’t know when this pandemic will end or how things will change, but I do know that having the support of a community makes a huge difference in how we get through difficult times. We are lucky to have such a strong Temple community, and I thank all of you
for being a part of TE. I wish all of our members and staff good health and peace as we make our way in this uncertain time.

A Shofar Column in the time of a pandemic

As a popular meme reminds us, 2020 is a leap year – there are 29 days in February and 300 days in March… As I think back over the last few weeks, I cannot quite believe what we have all been through, what we learned to do, to live with (and more importantly, live without). Some of us have been blessed to be able to switch to work remotely, while others began to deal with almost instant loss of work and income. Some had to find ways of coping with loneliness of isolation, while others are struggling with pressure of parenting young children and online learning, while trying to work from home. All of us are feeling incredible stress of these unprecedented (at least in most of our lifetimes) days. And then there are essential workers, first responders, medical professionals – people who MUST go out there, to make sure we can still function, eat, treat the sick, bring babies into this world. And then, of course, there are those of us who have caught the dreaded virus and had to cope, first hand, with its assault on our bodies and our spirits. And then, of course, some of us have lost our loved ones during this time – and even though they did not necessarily succumb to the virus, we couldn’t even come together as families and as a community, to say goodbye, to hold and support each other at this time of loss…

Human beings are incredibly resilient creatures. We learn to cope, we adjust our expectations, and we look for ways to help others. We have switched all our school programs online overnight, with the help of our incredible teachers and madrichim. We have switched Shabbat services online too – and in the process watched TE members in their 90s conquer zoom and YouTube! We held a Passover Seder online – perhaps the best attended TE congregational seder in my 11 years here. It wasn’t perfect, and I hope we don’t have to do THAT again – but it happened, and we recited the ancient words while smiling at each other across the time and space, marveling at wonders of modern technology that allowed us to be together despite everything. We will hold our Annual Meeting online too, and we will continue to look for ways to keep our TE community Jewishly engaged, supportive and strong – online, in person, over the phone or zoom – or across the street.

If you are feeling anxious – please let me know, I am here to talk. If you need help with groceries or any other tasks – please let me know, we have volunteers ready to help. If you are feeling lonely – pick up the TE directory and call someone to check up on them. If you hear that someone is ill, or in need of help or support – please drop me a line. This is a difficult period, but we don’t have to remember it only for the pain that it brings – let’s also make an effort to remember the joy that we can bring into each other’s lives, especially now.

Sending you all a COVID-appropriate virtual hug from a distance,

Rabbi Farbman

Temple Emanuel School Expansion

Our TE religious school is growing! Come any Sunday morning to the Asefah where students and parents gather, sing and study together. The kids are excited to be there, the parents are engaged, and Jewish learning is a truly joyous experience.

Though our new school building is only 5 years old, we need additional classrooms to accommodate our growing enrollment. This year, all 4 classrooms and the library were occupied, and every nook and cranny of the building is being used as additional classroom space.

Dave Pokras, an architect and a member of TE, designed a plan to add 2 classrooms behind the long wall of the social hall, accessed by a door near the kitchen end of the swing space. Construction has just begun and our hope is to have it completed before the next school year begins.

Fundraising is off to a great start – we need to raise $250,000, and 75% of the total has already been pledged by several very generous members! This leaves a balance of about $60,000 to get to our goal.

Our school is our synagogue’s vanguard. The wonderful children who come to school each week are our future, and the future of the Jewish people. This project is not only a school project – it is our commitment to the future of Temple Emanuel, and the future of our people.

We hope you will be generous, and feel the excitement that Rabbi Farbman, our Religious School director Olga Markus, our teachers and leadership bring to this effort. Our TE school is now well known throughout the community – and we are assuring its continued growth and success.
Thank You!!!

I would like to support the TE campaign for expanding our school!

A brief video from ground breaking ceremony on May 3rd

POSTPONED: Siyum – a sacred celebration of ending a sacred task

I often talk about the importance of transitions in Judaism: the threshold marked with a mezuza, the start of Shabbat marked with candles and kiddush, the end of Shabbat marked with Havdalah ceremony and so on. The new beginnings are to be celebrated with much joy and excitement, but so are the endings! In fact it’s the endings that often deserve that much more joy. A siyum is the completion of any unit of Torah study, or book of the Mishnah or Talmud. A siyum is usually followed by a celebratory meal – the joy of reaching a certain moment surely deserves a party!

As most of you know, this year we have engaged in a very special project: restoring the Temple Emanuel Holocaust Memorial Torah Scroll. This has been a humbling experience, as we researched the history of the town of Horazdovici and its Jewish community, raised funds necessary for the restoration and the upkeep of our Torah scrolls, and helped dozens and dozens of TE families experience the joy of assisting the scribe in restoring the damaged letters in the scroll, one by one. This has been a remarkable project, and I am delighted to report that we are nearing the end! With the scroll restoration nearly complete, the scribe will return to Temple Emanuel on March 22, allowing 40 plus additional families to take a personal part in restoration all throughout the day.

The most important moment will come at the end of the day at 6:00pm, as we celebrate the Siyum – a completion of the restoration process. The scribe will write the final letters and affix the final stitches, we will sing and dance with the Torah, carrying it not only around our sanctuary, as we do during the Torah service, but also outside and around our building (weather permitting, of course), before we joyously place the Torah into the Ark where it will now reside once again. There will be music from our band, and lots of joy to go around, and food, and a chance to say l’chayim to the completion of this sacred task.

There will be more information coming your way in the Shofar blast over the next few weeks, but in the meantime please make sure you mark your calendars for the evening of March 22 – just write ‘siyum’ and get ready to celebrate one of the most special things we ever get to do as a community.

The URJ Biennial: Exhausting and Exhilarating

Five thousand Jews talking, singing and praying together in a convention center in Chicago. More Jewish music than you can imagine. The Second City Chicago improvisational comedy theater group, which kept us rolling in our seats. The Union of Reform Judaism Biennial conference was all this and more.

I have just returned from 5 days in Chicago, along with 8 other TE members. At the Biennial I learned more about governance and leadership, met with other Temple presidents and heard their struggles and triumphs, and gained insights into how to become a more audaciously hospitable congregation. I learned about the impact we can have by voting in the World Zionist Congress elections, which will influence policy and funding for Jewish institutions in Israel and around the world. I learned about the wonderful social justice work of the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism (RAC), and of the exciting work by IRAC, the Israel Religious Action Center, working for equality for all Israelis, including marginalized groups like Ethiopian Jews, Mizrachi Jews and Arab citizens. I also learned that the Jewish community needs to change with the times to include the next generation, many of whom don’t see congregational membership in the same way past generations have.

For those of us at TE who enjoy being a musical congregation, the music at the Biennial is itself a reason to attend. One could spend the entire 5 days just listening to music! The Jewish Rock Radio stage (check it out on Facebook) features different musicians every half hour. Many of the musicians who have performed at TE were onstage, and we spent time listening to who we might invite next. Every service has music, every plenary session has music and every night there was a variety of performances to choose between, from rock and roll, to singing blindfolded on the floor, to bluegrass.

The experience of Shabbat at the Biennial touched me deeply. Imagine praying along with 5,000 other Jews in a service whose prayers are carefully chosen to be meaningful and inspirational. The music was deeply spiritual and joyfully engaging, and was played by professional musicians. Torahs from surrounding synagogues were carried throughout the hall while we danced in the aisles.

The Biennial is a time to feel the strength of our community. A time to meet Jews from all over North America – baby boomers, millennials, teens and young adults from NFTY (the Reform Jewish Youth Movement), and a few babies along with their parents. The URJ is working to increase inclusivity of groups that have been marginalized in society and welcomed the LGBTQ community, Jews of color and people with disabilities. The Biennial was a wonderful time for those of us from Temple Emanuel to connect. The Rabbi, Melissa Perkal, Janet Adams, Doug and Karen Fenichel, Vlad Katsovich, Laurel Shader, and Anna Zonderman all joined me in Chicago. We shared meals, sessions, worship, concerts, travel and grew closer. Thanks to Janet Adams, our Hadracha program that trains our teens to be madrichim and teachers, was featured in a poster session of innovations within the reform community.

The Biennial confirmed for me what a special congregation we have, and how much we are already doing to be warm and welcoming, and to educate the next generation. Those of us who went to Chicago returned to TE energized and eager to put into action what we learned. We look forward to an even larger TE delegation at Biennial 2021 in Washington DC.

On Memory and Ritual

Speak to the Israelite people and instruct them to make for themselves fringes (tzitzit) on the corners of their garments throughout the ages; let them attach a cord of blue to the fringe (tzitzit) at each corner. That shall be your fringe (tzitzit); look at it and recall all the commandments of Adonai and observe them, so that you do not follow your heart and eyes in your lustful urge. Thus you shall be reminded to observe all My commandments and to be holy to your God. (Numbers 15:38-40.)

This paragraph from the Torah may be very familiar to you – or perhaps only a portion of it is. It describes the Divine commandment to wear tzitzit, or fringes, on the corners of our garments as permanent reminders to follow and observe the mitzvot, commandments of the Torah. The text in full appears as part of the third paragraph of Shema in the prayerbook, restored to full length of the text in the Mishkan Tefilah and Mishkan haNefesh from the shortened versions that have been standard in American Reform siddurim, where tzitzit was not mentioned, even though the reminder to follow God’s commandments was very much retained.

So what is tzitzit? The rabbis of the Mishnah looked for ways to define and codify what these words were referring to, and so the tzitzit that consists of strings (8) and knots (5) was designed to remind us of the 613 commandments (with Hebrew tzitzit adding up to 600 in gematria). But the knots and strings are mostly there to remind us of something bigger – Judaism, commandments/mitzvot, rituals and observance. It’s a mnemonic device, a reminder – when your eye catches it, you will remember. My teacher Rabbi Lionel Blue (alav hashalom) used to describe tying knots in the handkerchief as a child, to remember something – and tzitzit is exactly that!

In more traditional settings, Jews interpret the commandment of tzitzit as something constantly required – the ‘tallit katan’ is an undergarment that contains tzitzit and is worn at all times as part of clothing. For non-orthodox Jews the tallit, a prayer shawl, is the garment that has tzitzit attached to it, and is worn at specific ritual moments. The traditional rules of tallit specify that it is worn during the daytime hours – so usually only for the morning and afternoon services, with exception of Yom Kippur which is treated as one long day, and hence the tallit is worn for Kol Nidrei (evening service) and then for the entire day of Yom Kippur. In addition, Shaliach Tzibbur, the person leading prayer, often wears the tallit even when leading services at night – that is why you will always see me wearing a tallit on the bimah, night or day, but not if I simply attend the evening service led by others. Traditionally women are considered exempt from the mitzvah of wearing tallit, since it is considered a time-bound mitzvah – but contrary to some popular beliefs, nowhere does it prohibit women from wearing a tallit, and so the non-orthodox movements have embraced the practice of women and men wearing the tallitot as a sacred ritual.

Our ritual committee recently discussed the wearing of tallitot and kippot on the bimah at TE. It opted against creating any kind of formal policy on the matter, reflecting the long held reform tradition of informed choice. It has also decided to encourage all those coming up to the bimah, especially as part of the Torah service, to wear a tallit where appropriate. (Following a wide-spread minhag (custom), we reserve the wearing of tallit to Jewish adults, or teens who have reached the age of majority, having celebrated their bar or bat mitzvah). Tallitot have always been available by the entrance into our sanctuary, but moving forward we will also make some available right by the bimah in case you are offered a mitzvah in the service or an Aliya to the Torah. If you have never experienced wearing a tallit, please let me know and I will gladly help you recite a blessing for donning the tallit. If you own one, please bring it with you next time you sign up for an Aliya on Friday night, or when you come to Shabbat Morning minyan or a bar/bat mitzvah ceremony. Then we can chant the words of the Shema together and fulfill this ancient Jewish tradition! Let me know if you have any questions, and I look forward to seeing you on the bimah, wearing your tallit, soon!

Restoring the Holocaust Memorial Scroll #1178

Earlier this year a Torah scribe visited TE to inspect our Torah scrolls, provide minor repairs and to teach our students and our teachers a little about the scribal art. In the process of his visit, we discovered a few minor fixes that were required for two of our scrolls – which were properly performed. We also discovered that one of our Torah scrolls will need a number of serious and costly repairs, rendering the scroll not kosher. But there was also a piece of amazingly good news: the Holocaust Memorial Scroll #1178, the first-ever TE Torah scroll which has been part of every Bar and Bat Mitzvah at Temple Emanuel from 1967 until 2007 while badly damaged, is NOT beyond repair! The skilled scribe can repair and restore this very special Torah! It will take time and money, but we can reclaim this Torah scroll, and bring it back to serve the Jewish people in the best way it knows how – by using it to share the words of Torah with people gathered in this sanctuary to celebrate Shabbat and special occasions.

As many of you heard me explain on Rosh Hashanah, I read from this very special, currently non-kosher scroll on that morning. But I did so with a mission: to invite you all to join me in a sacred task of repairing and restoring this Torah scroll, to reclaim a wonderful TE tradition, and to renew our commitment to keeping the memory of the Jews of Horazdovice alive – not just by seeing their Torah (as it is currently displayed in a special glass cabinet in our lobby), but by reading from their Torah.

On Sunday, November 24 the Torah scribe will return to Temple Emanuel, this time to begin a process of restoration. Every TE family will have an opportunity to help restore this scroll – literally by writing in individual letters (with the help of the scribe, of course). Every TE family will have an opportunity to schedule a personal ‘Torah restoration appointment’ – we really do want EVERY member of TE to have this sacred opportunity. As we restore this sacred scroll together, we will make every effort not just to honor its long, and at times painful history, but to also remember the joy of community that wrote it, and the joy of our community that has used it over the last 50 years. Our 7th graders, inspired and supported by the Barbara Rosenthal memorial fund, lovingly created by the Weber family right here at TE, already began a special project of researching the history of the Jewish community of Horazdovice, and will present their findings on November 24th.

Next year we plan to use this Torah scroll again during the High Holy Days, with all its symbolism, and all its history. Next year it will be kosher. THIS is how we respond to hatred: by building a strong Jewish community, by raising Jews with a strong Jewish identity. By continuing to invest in the JOY of being Jewish – not the OY. THIS is how we keep Judaism alive.

Financial Requirements for the TE Torah Restoration Project

There are 3 areas that will require financial support:

1. Restoration of the Holocaust Scroll (including the actual cost of Scribal repair and restoration, as well as the cost of special visit(s) from the scribe to Temple Emanuel, enabling us all to participate in the sacred task of restoration

2. Repair of Temple Emanuel’s other Torah Scrolls and maintenance of all our scrolls, including the Holocaust Memorial Scroll #1178.

3. Holocaust education for our religious school and for adults.

Several generous donors have already reached out to support these activities. We are soliciting funds to assure we can do all of these tasks in relation to our Torah scrolls and Holocaust education as a combined project.

Our fundraising goal for this project is $50,000. We have already secured nearly $30,000 toward that goal, part of which is an $8,000 matching challenge – – matching dollar for dollar contributions that other TE families will commit.

If you would like to discuss any of these details or offer your generous support to this special project, please speak to Alan Kliger or Melissa Perkal.

Audacious Hospitality

“Temple Emanuel is a warm, caring, and open community. As a small but growing Reform synagogue, our members have the opportunity to know one another and to have meaningful input into how our synagogue operates. Temple Emanuel is a participatory, diverse, non-judgmental, and intellectually vibrant congregation. Our membership comes from many towns in the greater New Haven area, and the Valley, adding to the diversity of our congregation.”

This paragraph comes from the homepage of our website. Much of what I love about Temple Emanuel is embodied in these words. We are warm, caring and open. We are a participatory congregation, diverse in many ways. We work hard to welcome new members and visitors. Temple Emanuel embraces other values dear to my heart. Again from our website: “Tikkun Olam (healing the world), social action, and social justice are important values of the modern Reform movement and a priority at Temple Emanuel.”

With all of this in mind I often think about how TE can do even better on these fronts. How could we welcome members or guests who cannot walk up the steps to the bimah to accept an aliyah? How could we welcome those who don’t feel comfortable using a bathroom gendered male or female? My wife Barb and I have worked hard in our lives to be visible and proud lesbian parents, making sure that our kids feel comfortable with their family and accepted in their community. Do others feel as comfortable at Temple Emanuel being who they are? Do Jews of color feel at home at TE?

Being welcoming and inclusive, and being sensitive to people who are outside the majority, are values I feel strongly about. The Union of Reform Judaism (URJ), the umbrella organization for North American Reform Judaism, has an initiative to embrace the diversity of the Jewish community. This initiative is called Audacious Hospitality, “… a transformative spiritual practice rooted in the belief that we will be a stronger, more vibrant Jewish community when we fully welcome and incorporate the diversity that is the reality of modern Jewish life.” The URJ has developed a number of resources for member congregations, including an Audacious Hospitality toolkit. This educational program helps congregations examine the welcome they give and helps to strengthen the relationships we have with one another.

Temple Emanuel is a wonderful congregation. I feel joy when I sit down at services or join families at the asephah and feel the connection and warmth of our community. I would like to go even further to make every household feel that they have been seen and heard, and that their voices are important to the whole. I invite everyone who is interested to join in a discussion about how TE might become more audaciously hospitable. We will meet on Sunday, November 10^th at 10 am. If you are interested but cannot attend that date, please let me know. As always, I am interested in your thoughts and ideas, and can be contacted at president@tegnh.org

Tikkun Olam Projects 2019-20

Tentative Projects for the 2019-2020 (5780) Calendar Year

September/October 2019

26^th Annual High Holy Day Food Collection – Will Sherman, Coordinator

Rosh Hashanah & Yom Kippur & Sukkot

Food to be picked up by JFS and the Town of Orange between 10/23 & 10/25

November/December 2019

Thanksgiving Turkey Collection – Peter Stolzman, Coordinator
New Haven’s Lighthouse Point Park “Fantasy of Lights” – in conjunction with Easter Seals – Goodwill Industries (Monday, Dec. 9, 2019) – Adam Spiewak, Coordinator
Religious School Chanukah Baskets (Sunday, Dec. 8, 2019). Baskets will be donated to: JFS, ‘r Kids Family Center, Fair Haven Community Health Center, & Fellowship Place. Sara Shanbrom will coordinate with assistance from Rebecca Olshansky and Lily Katsovich.

January/February 2020

Religious School MLK Day Project. Sunday, January 12, 2020. “Welcome Kits” to be donated to Fellowship Place and Columbus House. Janet Adams, Coordinator
Abraham’s Tent. Week of February 24, 2020. Lee Stolzman & Barbara Levine-Ritterman, Coordinators
Diaper Drive Collection – Marisa Kogan, Coordinator

March/April 2020

Continuation of the Diaper Drive Collection — Marisa Kogan, Coordinator
Purim Pasta Collection – Nancy Weber, Coordinator. March 8-10, 2020. All collected pasta to be donated to the Beth El Shelter in Milford.
Federation Mitzvah Day (Sunday, March 15, 2020): “Rise Against Hunger” project hosted at Temple Emanuel. Melissa Perkal & Adam Spiewak, Coordinators
Kosher-for-Passover Food Collection. Food to be distributed to JFS prior to the start of Passover (which is April 8, 2020). Will Sherman, Coordinator

May/June 2020

Red Cross Blood Drive at T.E. Adam Spiewak, Coordinator (Need date)
Collection of specific items for Milford’s Beth El Shelter. Nancy Weber, Coordinator