Rabbi Michael Farbman – Page 5 – Temple Emanuel of Greater New Haven

Mazal Tov: celebrating a Jewish milestone

Temple Emanuel B’not Mitzvah Class of 1989

Judith Kaplan, at age twelve, became the first woman to celebrate a Bat Mitzvah on March 18, 1922. Judith was the oldest daughter of Rabbi Mordecai Kaplan, the founder of Reconstructionist Judaism. Believing that girls should have the same religious opportunities as their brothers, Rabbi Kaplan arranged for his daughter to read Torah on a Shabbat morning at his synagogue, the Society for the Advancement of Judaism.

100 years in Jewish history is not a very long time, of course. And yet, the 100^th anniversary of the first-ever bat mitzvah offers us an opportunity to reflect on how much the world, and the Jewish world, have changed since then.

Temple Emanuel B’not Mitzvah Class of 1993

The revolutionary act of a BAT mitzvah did not immediately change the Jewish world – it took a while for various Jewish movements to fully embrace this life cycle moment in all its beauty (each within its own understanding and style). At one point, as bat mitzvah celebrations became common in Reform and Conservative synagogues, many of the women who grew up in the previous generations embraced the new ritual and celebrated Bat Mitzvah as adults – learning to read from the Torah and taking their rightful place on the bimah. At Temple Emanuel, a few groups of women joined the Bat Mitzvah class with Rabbi Brieger in the late 1980s and through the 1990s, and many of the wonderful Torah chanters who regularly take on this holy task at TE were trained as part of that effort and got to celebrate this special occasion as part of a larger group, forming life-long friendships in the process.

In addition, generations of Jewish women grew up celebrating this life cycle event by learning to chant and being called up to the Torah, same as the boys, in a truly egalitarian manner. At Temple Emanuel we are blessed to have the mixture of chanters on our bimah, both the ones who had their bar and bat mitzvah at the age of 13, and those who only had the opportunity to do so as adults (I, of course, am included in that latter category, having celebrated my Bar Mitzvah at the age of 27, the day before my Rabbinic ordination – but that is a different story).

As we celebrate this special anniversary on March 18^th, I have invited all the women who celebrated their adult b’not mitzvah at TE to share an aliya together, a mini reunion. Another aliya will be shared by many of those girls and women who grew up at TE (or other synagogues) and had their b’not mitzvah ceremonies at 13. I hope that you mark your calendars and join us for this very special occasion, celebrating the reality that was once revolutionary, and now very much a part of Jewish life!

The world continues to change, and we continue to evolve with it. While these days we don’t think about Bat Mitzvah as something unusual, there are new realities that warrant our consideration: how do we welcome teens (and adults) to encounter the Torah while recognizing their different understanding of gender, and what adjustments to the language and the ritual we need to consider to make these rituals inclusive and welcoming. We stand on the shoulders of giants; our ancestors did not shy away from the challenges they faced, and we are all able to experience the richness of our tradition in a deeper and more meaningful way as a result. I am confident that we will continue to engage with both modernity and tradition, constantly shaping and renewing our commitment to Jewish life and practice.

I know that there are a number of TE members who have not had a b’nei mitzvah celebration – some did not grow up Jewish and converted to Judaism as adults; others grew up in Jewish families that were not part of a religious community; others perhaps did not have a ceremony for a different reason. I would like to use this anniversary of the first Bat Mitzvah to offer an invitation: if you would like to join the Adult B’nei Mitzvah class at Temple Emanuel this coming year, to learn to chant from the Torah and to celebrate this special ritual, please send me a note – I think the time has come for us to have this special program at TE once again!

Celebrating a TE milestone

A few years ago, while sorting through some of the archives of Temple Emanuel, and marveling at some of the history (including terrific photos and a collection of the old Shofar editions, going all the way back to typed-up pages from 1966), I flipped to one of the first issues — December 1969 — and found a message from then-President, Paul Levine:

“Last year after considerable, careful thought we put out a mini-leaflet which we feel is true to the spirit of our congregation. In it we described ourselves as “… a new temple for creative judaism”. It was no accident that “temple emanuel” and its description appeared in lower case letters. This device signified to us that the institution was no more important than its congregants… An institution such as ours must serve the needs of its members. But the rabbi, officers and board are not all-wise in guessing the needs of the members. Realizing this, last summer Rabbi Winer, together with an officer or board member visited nearly every congregant’s home to solicit views and ideas. Many worthwhile innovations followed. One or two ideas flopped. But if we profess to be “a new temple for creative judaism” we must continue to be willing to change where desirable. Therefore, I solicit your ideas and your help in carrying them out. Our temple is a very precious concept. Let’s care enough to have it serve us properly.”

Having stumbled upon this paragraph by accident, I have been returning to it, day after day, month after month, and pondering the legacy of our early “pioneers”. While we no longer spell Temple Emanuel’s name in lower case letters, we remain committed to the principles of “creative Judaism”, and especially to our identity as a community, rather than an institution. We remain governed by committed lay leaders who do not presume to be all-knowing, and continuously encourage ALL members to share their vision, as well as their energy, in making TE the kind of a community we all need it to be.

The last two years of living through a pandemic has reminded us all of the importance of this pioneering spirit of TE’s founding members. We had to learn “new tricks” as we all adapted to services, religious school, education and even social gatherings online. With vision and foresight, we were also able to continue our efforts to expand our building and upgrade our lobby and kiddush lounge into much more welcoming spaces, preparing us for the joy of re-entering our building once again. We were (and remain) creative, even as we work hard to preserve the essence of our community: a welcoming Jewish space where everyone gets to explore their own Jewish journeys. A place to educate the next generation of Jewish children. A synagogue. A place to belong.

As we enter the year 2022, we get a chance to celebrate a milestone that most of our founding members likely could not have imagined – the 60^th anniversary of Temple Emanuel! We will celebrate this year with an amazing treat – a visit from one of the most inspiring composers of contemporary Jewish music, Noah Aronson (make sure to save April 2 as the date of our next Shir Magic concert)! We will have a family and religious school celebration of our 60^th on May 15^th, and the celebrations will culminate, God willing, with a Gala on October 29^th. I can’t wait to celebrate this exciting milestone with you all!

Temple Emanuel is turning 60!

“It was 1962 and the world was changing! A forward-thinking group of families with a keen sense of their Jewishness and a pioneer spirit had the desire to practice their religious beliefs and educate their children in a more meaningful manner than was available at other Reform congregations. Their aim was to preserve tradition and address modern American life without compromising either… Their primary interest was to establish a religious school that would teach with a sense of joy and discovery about Judaism.”

The year 2022 marks Temple Emanuel’s 60^th anniversary year. As I have been reflecting on what this means, I wanted to know more about Temple Emanuel’s past. My family joined TE in 2000 and we heard many stories about services in “the barn”, an old metal cattle shed with a corrugated steel roof that that served at TE’s first sanctuary. The quote above is from “The History of Temple Emanuel of Greater New Haven, 1962-2012”, compiled by Betty Goldberg (Orange) for our 50^th anniversary. You can find this wonderful historical record on the Temple Emanuel website (https://tegnh.org/history/ and scroll down for a link to the booklet).

I did not know that the first members of Temple Emanuel wanted the religious school to be taught with no Hebrew at all. Over time that has changed; you will find Hebrew in our religious school as well as our songs and prayers. But our spirit has not changed substantially from that of our founders. The first members of TE came together to practice Judaism in a meaningful way, one that blended Jewish traditions with modern day life and brought joy to their lives. According to Joan Small z”l, an original member of Temple Emanuel “We were a strong force for ethical activism.” These sentiments mirror my reasons for joining Temple Emanuel and I believe they are true of many of our members as well.

We have much to celebrate as we begin our 60^th year. We are lucky to have Rabbi Farbman, who fit right into our warm and musical congregation in 2009 and helped move us forward, strengthening our school, expanding our musical horizons, attracting new members and becoming a leader in the Greater New Haven Jewish community. I am delighted to announce that he will be starting a new 5-year contract in July. I am also excited about our religious school. Olga Markus and our teachers have done an amazing job creating a curriculum that teaches our children in a way that excites them. Our enrollment has grown over the last decade and our school has developed a very special teen program, keeping almost all our teenagers engaged at Temple Emanuel post b’nei mitzvah. Music continues to be a highlight at TE, with services and special events that feature our band, individual members who play for us and Shir Magic concerts (see below for Noah Aronson’s concert on April 2^nd).

It is worth reading the history of Temple Emanuel to see the transition we have made, from no physical home at all, to renovating a barn into a sanctuary, to building a wonderful new building and expanding it, so that it now houses our sanctuary, offices, social hall, kiddush lounge, and enough room for our growing religious school. Due to the generosity of a couple of our members, Temple Emanuel owns our building outright. In fact, after many years of board meetings discussing where we would get the income to pay our bills, it is a pleasure to know that TE is currently in good financial shape.

Temple Emanuel is a strong congregation, one of a few in the area that continues to attract new members. It is our membership that makes us who we are: a warm, caring, intellectually vibrant community, ready to change with the times yet preserve our traditions, as we grow into our 60^th year. Several events are being planned to help us celebrate this milestone event.

Shir Magic Concert featuring Noah Aronson and the TE band, Saturday, April 2^nd
TE at 60 Family Celebration, Sunday, May 15^th (last day of TE religious school)
TE 60^th Gala Celebration, Saturday night, October 29^th

Please stay tuned for more information about these events.

Chanukah: time of re-dedication

The Festival of Chanukkah celebrates a historic moment of dedication – or rather, of re-dedication of the Temple in Jerusalem by the Maccabees, following a successful revolt against the Syrian Greeks in 164 BCE. The fighting was still ongoing as they proceeded to clear out the Temple, remove the idols and re-kindle the Temple Menorah. We retell the story every year, recounting the struggle and the unlikely victory that allowed our ancestors to thrive as Jews in our land once again – a powerful and inspiring story.

While the most well-known explanation for the 8 days of Chanukkah comes from the Talmudic story of the cruse of oil, the Book of Maccabees offers us a different reason for the duration of the Festival: the Maccabees had spent a long time in their hideouts and caves as they waged war against the Greeks, and they missed out on many of the celebrations that formed a big part of their Jewish identity. The most recent (and beloved) Festival they missed was Sukkot (which lasts 7 days plus one more – 8 days in total!). Not only that, when the First Temple was built in Jerusalem by King Solomon, the dedication was celebrated over the course of the Festival of Sukkot! I suppose they could have waited until the following year, but their desire to restore the Jewish rights and customs was so strong that they created a brand new Festival of re-dedication!

It struck me that this is the year when we all can feel a little bit like the Maccabees – we have missed out on so much of the joy of communal gathering and Jewish rituals and celebrations over the last year and a half, hunkered down in our homes, grateful for the technology that has allowed us to maintain at least some form of our community. Having reentered the sanctuary just a few weeks ago, we are giddy with the excitement of being together again. Just like the Maccabees, though, we don’t get to relax just yet – the pandemic is still here, and while the infection rates are a little better than they were, we are not yet able to breathe a sigh of relief, and have to be careful as we cautiously begin to return to our traditional ways.

The Maccabees were very much the traditionalists of their time, yet they were also able to adjust to the realities of modernity, and used their Jewish creativity, too. They gifted us with Chanukkah, a most beloved Jewish Festival, that offers us light in the time of darkness; that lifts our spirits and fills our hearts with joy. And so, this year we will once again come together in our sanctuary and celebrate Chanukah, complete with candles and the TE band! There will be numerous precautions, including masks and distancing. We will not gather all our chanukkiot in the middle, but instead will spread the light all across the building – Sanctuary, Kiddish Lounge and the Social Hall! Last but not least, we will not be able to hold our wonderful Chanukkah dinner the way we have always done – but our wonderful volunteers are working on some exciting ideas, so watch the Shofar blast in the next few weeks! We will adjust to the new realities, and of course, we will make sure that those who are not able to make it in person can celebrate with their TE community – by bringing their chanukkiot to Zoom and joining the community virtually.

I cannot wait to celebrate this Festival of Lights with all of you!

TE: Strong and Resilient

This month I have had a difficult time writing my column. COVID fatigue has set in – I am tired of writing about the pandemic and how it affects us, yet what else can I say? Then I reread some of my past columns for inspiration and was struck by this opening paragraph written in February 2020, shortly before the pandemic began:

“This morning Temple Emanuel was overflowing with members, ranging in age from toddlers to those in their 80s. It was a typical Sunday morning at TE. During asephah (Sunday morning meeting at our religious school) the sanctuary was filled with children, parents, and teachers. As the children departed for their classroom lessons the sanctuary became home to the Jewish short story program. Meanwhile, the Hebrew class for adults was going on in the social hall and the B’nei Mitzvot parents were meeting with the Rabbi in his office. Every inch of our building was being used and the energy inside the building was humming with excitement.”

Our lives have changed, yet time marches on. The TE religious school is meeting in person, and the warm autumn weather has allowed us to hold asephah with all our students and parents together outside. While I worry what such warm weather in October may mean for our planet, I have decided to see it as a blessing this year. The Delta wave seems to be waning and we are now holding hybrid Shabbat services, some of us in the sanctuary, others joining virtually. While the building isn’t humming as it was pre-pandemic, I can feel warmth and vibrancy emanating from our gatherings.

Our community has been strong and resilient, and we continue to grow. I am thrilled to say that thirteen new families joined Temple Emanuel between June and September. Keep an eye out for our caring community emails introducing our newest members, and please say hello when you meet them, either in person or on Zoom.

As I write this, I am feeling a little more ease around me – some are going to the theater and starting to travel; COVID boosters are helping many to feel less worried; a vaccine for children 5-11 appears within reach. Yet I continue to be apprehensive. What will be next, what will the colder weather bring and how do we gather as a community while keeping our members safe?

Thanks to all of you who continue to nourish our community with your work in our school, board of directors, committees and as volunteers and paid staff. I await the time when every corner of our building is overflowing with life again. Meanwhile, I enjoy seeing many of you both in person and virtually, whether it is at services, at meetings or a chance meeting in the parking lot.

The month of Elul as the doorway to the High Holy Day Season

The arrival of the month of Elul in the Jewish calendar is always tinged with both excitement and sadness. The summer is beginning to wind down, and even though we may still have a few weeks of summer weather, fall is on the horizon, and with it the return of “regular” routines for many of us.

Of course, we continue to live in a world in which there’s nothing regular about our daily lives! The pandemic continues to challenge us in ways we never could have imagined — testing our resilience, our adaptability, and our creativity. The new “normal” means that kids are about to go back to school, commuters go back to battling the usual traffic volumes, and sooner or later the evenings become cooler as well.

In the Jewish calendar, the arrival of the month of Elul is a signal to switch spiritual gears. It reminds us that Rosh Hashanah is on its way, followed closely by Yom Kippur — and thus there’s no better time to begin the process of introspection, also known as ‘heshbon hanefesh’, accounting of the soul. How was my last year? Did I reach the goals I set out for myself? Did I remember to be kinder; to act justly; to color my actions in this world with Jewish values?

Did I fail? (I know I failed – I am a flawed human being!) And more importantly, when I did fail, how did I respond? Did I seek to fix my own mistakes? Did I acknowledge my failures and look for ways not to repeat them? One of the fundamental ideas we begin to consider with the arrival of Elul is how we can strive to rise above our flawed human nature to being a better version of ourselves. We begin this spiritual work ahead of time, and we continue throughout the festive season of High Holy Days, culminating in a day-long observance of Yom Kippur.

I always look forward to the High Holy Days with excitement; seeing so many TE members together in one room celebrating our ancient traditions fills my heart with joy. This year, the reality of the pandemic is once again preventing us from gathering safely, and so we will use technology to come together instead: on Zoom or via livestream, as well as meeting outside for a few smaller services. We will hold a Rosh Hashanah seder once again on the eve of Rosh Hashanah, an experience that so many of us found incredibly meaningful and inspiring last year. We will gather outside for tashlich, and (please God) we will gather in and around the TE sukkah later this month. In short, we will do what we do best – celebrate our Jewish traditions, our heritage and our way of life. May our journey of introspection this year bring us new insights into our own lives. May our holy day celebration be filled with meaning and joy.

Shanah Tovah — a sweet, happy and joyous 5782 to you all!

(This is a revised version of an article that previously appeared in the Shofar in the Fall of 2018.)

Renewing the World

Shana tova. The New Year is upon us already, coinciding with the start of the new school year, a time of beginnings for many of us. It is a time to look back and assess where we have been and look ahead to where we would like to be. To say the past year, 5781 on the Jewish calendar, has been a difficult one is an understatement. Living through a global pandemic, with social isolation, illness and loss, and fear and uncertainty as to what will come next, has been something none of us has ever faced before. Just as we think we know what to expect we get thrown another curveball and learn how to adapt yet again.

I have been impressed with the resilience and strength of the Temple Emanuel community this past year and a half. We have been creative as we have supported each other through daily life and lifecycle events. The vibrancy of our community shows as we continue to welcome new members to TE (look for Caring Community announcements of our new members in the coming weeks). Thanks to Rabbi Farbman, to Ruth, Lynn and Ariette, to Olga and our teachers, to the TE board of directors and to all of you, our members, for all you have done to make Temple Emanuel such a warm and caring place.

As we celebrate Rosh Hashanah and practice Teshuvah, we look at how we can do better in our lives. How can we work to transform the world and improve the lives of people in our community and elsewhere? There are many options for Tikkun Olam at Temple Emanuel – the High Holiday food drive, working with CONECT, supporting JCARR, and numerous other activities throughout the year. I hope that many of you will get involved with our efforts to help the world around us.

How can we make Temple Emanuel a better place? The Union of Reform Judaism (URJ) has coined the term Audacious Hospitality as a principle of welcoming and embracing the full diversity of the Jewish community around us. We all know the TE is a very “warm, caring and open community,” a quote taken from our website. This is the reason many of us have joined and stayed at TE. But as we practice Teshuvah we challenge ourselves to go further. How can we be even more welcoming to the diversity of ideas, lifestyles and backgrounds present in our membership? How can we be inclusive and try to understand each other in supportive, non-threatening ways?

The URJ Audacious Hospitality team designed a self-reflection questionnaire to help congregations think about these issues. A group of 8 TE members spent a number of weeks this summer analyzing this questionnaire and considering how we might work to expand our welcoming spirit. We feel it is important to get input from the entire community, as we look at ways we all feel welcome at TE and how we can do better. This group is designing a short survey more appropriate for our congregation, and we hope all of you will fill it out and give us feedback. Please look for this survey in your email and in the Shofar blast in the next month. We also hope to run some focus groups, for those who prefer to speak with us in person (or on Zoom). And don’t hesitate to call or email me – I am always interested to hear what you have to say.

I wish all of you a sweet New Year. May 5782 bring you good health, joy and happiness. And may it bring continued strength to our community as we build a better world for all.

Not a member of a synagogue? Looking for ways to celebrate High Holy Days in a meaningful way? Come join us at TE this year!

Due to the increased COVID-19 infection rate in our area, the TE board has decided to change the format of High Holiday services this year. While we would very much like to gather in person, the Jewish value of Pikuach Nefesh, safeguarding life, inspires us toward caution as we strive to protect the health of our community.

High Holiday Services on Erev and Day 1 of Rosh Hashanah and all Yom Kippur services will be held virtually on both Zoom and YouTube, as we did last year. The service on Day 2 of Rosh Hashanah and the TE Rosh Hashanah family celebration, which we expect to be smaller gatherings, will be held in person outside, weather permitting. Family units will be required to maintain social distance during and after the services, and masks will be required. The outdoor services will be live-streamed. We will also meet in person on the first day of Rosh Hashanah at 4pm for Tashlich at Wright’s Pond in Orange. In case of inclement weather, we will notify you of a change to virtual services.

We are of course disappointed that we will miss out on much of our special season of gathering, prayer, music, food, and above all, community. We know that nothing can replace the sense of celebrating our Holy Days together. Yet we can use the available technology to maintain our traditions and our connections with each other. High Holy Days will look different at TE this year, but this will not change the nature of the Holy Days, or of our sacred community.

Our Board of Directors has made a decision to use this opportunity to practice our true hospitality and welcoming spirit. Our High Holy Day services will be open to all this year. If you are not a member of Temple Emanuel, but would like to join us for High Holy Days this year, please use this form to register in advance.

28th Annual High Holy Days Food Drive

For the 28th consecutive year, T.E. will again be holding its High Holy Days Food Drive, donating much-needed food to the food pantries of both Jewish Family Service and the Town of Orange. Unfortunately, due to Covid restrictions, we will once again be employing a hybrid model, giving congregants a variety of choices or options as to how they would like to participate.
1. For folks who would prefer to donate actual tangible food items, you can give your food donation to the T.E. “Honey Bee” when they come to your house to deliver your honey and calendar. Important: Please make sure that the cans and boxes are labeled, unopened, undamaged, and that the expiration dates are pretty far away. And for transportation safety, no glass jars, please.
2. For folks who would prefer to donate by check to the JFS Food Pantry, you can give your check to the T.E. “Honey Bee” when they come to your house to deliver your honey and calendar. Checks should be made out to JFS Food Pantry and please make sure you write Temple Emanuel on the memo line as that’s how we’ll be credited. If you prefer to mail your check directly to JFS instead, please mail it to: JFS Food Pantry,c/o JFS of Greater New Haven, 1440 Whalley Ave., New Haven, CT 06515.
3. For folks who would prefer to donate by check to the Town of Orange Food Pantry, you can give your check to the T.E. “Honey Bee” when they come to your house to deliver your honey and calendar. Checks should be made out to Treasurer, Town of Orange, and please make sure you write both Food Pantry and Temple Emanuel on the memo line as that’s how we’ll be credited. If you prefer to mail your check directly to Orange instead, please mail it to: Denise Stein, c/o Orange Food Pantry, 525 Orange Center Road, Orange, CT 06477. Please be as generous as you’ve always been in the past. This has certainly been a tough year. Thank you!
Will Sherman, Coordinator, Food Drive

High Holy Days 5782 (2021) at Temple Emanuel

Joint URJ Selichot Service (online) Saturday, August 28 at 7 pm – check Shofar Blast for the zoom link.

Rosh Shananah Services

Rosh Hashanah Family Celebration Monday, September 6 at 3 pm – outside, weather permitting (or online).

Erev Rosh Hashanah Seder (online), Monday, September 6 at 7 pm

First Day Rosh Hashanah Service, Tuesday, September 7 at 10 am (online only)

Tashlich Service Tuesday, September 7 at 4pm

Second Day Rosh Hashanah Service, Wednesday, September 8 at 10 am (outside, weather permitting)

Yom Kippur Services (online only)

Kol Nidre (Erev Yom Kippur) Service, Wednesday, September 15 at 8 pm

Yom Kippur Morning Service, Thursday, September 16 at 10 am

Yom Kippur Family Service, Thursday, September 16 at 1 pm

Yom Kippur Mincha Service, Thursday, September 16 at 5:00 pm

Yizkor, Neila, & Havdalah Service, Thursday, September 16 at 6:15 pm

Sukkot Service

Erev Sukkot Service, Monday, September 20 at 6:30 pm

Simchat Torah Service

Erev Simchat Torah Service, Monday, September 27 at 6 pm