Category: Rabbi’s page

On Sept 23^rd I met with Laurel, our High Holy Day Cantorial Soloist, to go over the recent High Holy Day services while the memory is still fresh in our minds. We reviewed our notes and made some corrections and adjustments to the service to make it run a little smoother and to make sure it doesn’t run longer than it should. At the end of our meeting I pointed out that we just had our post High Holy Day review meeting – and it’s not even the end of September yet! To make it feel even more unusual, we took a look at next year’s dates – and with Rosh Hashanah on September 25, 2014, next year we will not have even started the festival cycle! 🙂 The Jewish calendar works in mysterious ways, as we will all discover once again this year when we gather at Thanksgiving and light a SECOND Chanukah candle!

Since all of the Festivals of Tishrei fell on September this year, October will end up being an ‘empty’ month – no Jewish festivals to celebrate, just ‘regular’ weeks of school, Shabbat, and family time. And while it may sound strange to think of October without the Jewish festivals, the month of Cheshvan is in fact the month that is always free of any festivals or special dates! The traditional name for the month of Cheshvan is Mar-Cheshvan, and according to at least one interpretation it is ‘mar’ (bitter) because it has no festivals to celebrate!  🙂

Be it as it may, although October does not have any Jewish festivals for us to celebrate, there are plenty of opportunities for us to engage with our community and with each other. Whether it is getting together for a Shabbat meal with friends, Shabbat Morning Torah service with discussion of the weekly portion on October 5^th, Sisterhood Book Club on Oct 7^th, coming to Bnei Mitzvah Class Shabbaton on October 12^th, attending the first in the series of Adult Education programs on Shabbat afternoon (also Oct. 12^th), coming to a special program on Genetics with Rachel Barnett from Yale, or participating in the Cook and Care Walk-a-Thon (both on October 20^th), there is hardly a weekend when you don’t have a chance to engage with your community and with Judaism in a meaningful and powerful way. (Not to mention the regular Shabbat services, Torah study, and Religious school and family programs!) Whatever you choose to do, neither October nor MarCheshvan have to feel empty – or bitter! May it be the month filled with the warmth of the special TE community spirit. Check out the Shofar and our website for more info on all of these programs – and make sure you find something that’s right for YOU!

Happy October, everyone!

Today I met Natan Sharansky. A legend. An icon. A man, who had the audacity to stand up to the entire Soviet machine and insist that Jews, even Russian Jews, even Soviet Jews, had a right to explore their Jewish identity by learning Hebrew and being Zionists and – shock and horror – move to Israel if they felt so moved. A man whose stubborn refusal to give up that dream made him a pariah at home – and a hero worldwide, the very symbol of defiance of free human spirit against the totalitarian system.

I never heard about Sharansky as a child. It is easy to forget that the Iron Curtain was not just protecting the Soviet citizens from outside influences – it was also a heavy cloud that prevented news of such heroic defiance ever making it onto the front pages of the newspapers – unless it was of course to condemn the traitor and an agent of foreign intelligence agencies… At the time of Sharansky’s trials I was 3 years old and by the time I was a teenager, the Soviet Union was slowly but surely unraveling – and together with the rest of the country I was thoroughly immersed in learning about the dark pages of Soviet history, the lies and the myths… I was also busy exploring my own Jewish identity, a gift unimaginable even to my brother who is 9 years older than I am, let alone to my parents… And so, even though I may have heard Sharansky’s name, I had no idea who he was – or what he stood for. When I visited England in the early 90’s, Sharansky’s name would come up in every conversation – a name of a hero, a symbol, a legend, whose personal story – full of tragedy and suffering, yet ultimately a story with a happy ending – had defined the plight of the Soviet Jews for the world at large…

I read the books and the stories, I learnt of the struggle and the bravery. In a way, I learnt my own history that I never had a chance to know – even though I lived through it! I met dozens, perhaps hundreds of Jews from all over the world who told me stories of travelling to the Soviet Union, meeting refuseniks, meeting Sharansky and his friends, demonstrating and demanding his release. Wonderful people who were inspired by Natan’s struggle – and inspired others to follow in their footsteps.

Hollywood movies often have a happy ending – the hero gets the girl and saves the world. Natan Sharansky was reunited with his wife and went on to help inspire thousands of American Jews to come and march in Washington DC, demanding ‘Let my People Go’. Everybody loves a happy ending. But we know that happy endings are never the end – instead they are just the beginning. Even a hero, whose act of defiance turned him into an icon, needs to figure out what to do next. Natan Sharansky entered Israeli politics and created a party that united the ‘Russian street’, over a million of recent immigrants from the Former Soviet Union.  His politics were very conservative and for many years I felt disappointment – a man who, to some degree, owed his freedom to liberal Jews all over the world who fought tirelessly for his release, was now towing a political line that was very far indeed from the agenda of liberal Jews…

In 2009 Natan Sharansky became the Chairman of the Jewish Agency for Israel – a role that, according to many, is a perfect fit for this man, whose very name is synonymous with Jewish identity and freedom. A few months ago Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu appointed Natan Sharansky as a one-man commission to determine the way to solve the controversy around the Western Wall in the Old City of Jerusalem – a Holy site for Jews worldwide, a spiritual center of the Jewish universe. The site is controlled by ultra-orthodox Jews and women are prohibited from wearing a tallit, a prayer shawl, when praying at the wall. The public reading of Torah from the scroll is also out of reach for these Reform, Conservative and modern Orthodox women, yet every month they come for Rosh Chodesh, New Moon, a traditional monthly Jewish ‘women’s’ day, to have this extremely powerful spiritual experience. Many of them get harassed by orthodox men and women around them, some get arrested by police. Yet they refuse to give up their right to pray at the Wall – and the rest of the Jewish world, inspired by their defiance, refuses to give up that right together with these brave women.

Together with Sydney Perry and a small group of people from New Haven I had a chance to meet with Natan Sharansky and to tell him that the Jewish world really needed this issue solved once and for all. He listened to us and offered some insights and some promises. In fact, the very next day, at the end of a long process of world-wide consultation, Sharansky announced his proposed plan which would ensure a creation of an egalitarian section at the expanded Wall Plaza that would allow Jewish women to pray the way they feel moved – and non-Orthodox Jews to pray together, as families, just as we do in our synagogues. The solution has its challenges – but it is a compromise that Women of the Wall, as well as our worldwide movement, have gladly accepted as a huge step forward for the benefit of the entire Jewish people. But even before I knew the results of this enquiry, I left the meeting feeling inspired. I met a man who was able to use all of his life experience, all of his political savvy and knowledge, all of his gravitas for one simple goal: looking after the needs of the Jewish People, all of the Jewish People…

A real hero is someone who can figure out a way to survive the ‘happily ever after’ moment. The man I met today is not just a hero of the past – he is a Jewish hero who continues to use his energy and his strength for the good of the Jewish people and his beloved State of Israel. It was an honor – and a privilege – to meet a real hero…

Yom HaAtzmaut, Israeli Independence Day, marks the establishment of the modern state of Israel in 1948. It is observed on or near the 5th of Iyar in the Hebrew calendar, which usually falls in April. This year on April 15/16^th we shall be marking the 65^th anniversary of the creation of the modern State of Israel. A miracle. A promise. A challenge and a joy. A country that has captured the imagination of people all over the world with its amazing narrative of rebirth. A country that is deeply rooted in the past, boasting three millennia of rich history – but also the country that is very much at the cutting edge of modernity in technology, in art, in business and in medicine… A country where East truly meets West, where tradition meets modernity; a country full of contradictions that contribute to its richness and uniqueness. A Jewish homeland that is also home to the largest Jewish community in the world once again, after nearly two thousand years of expulsion…

A number of events in and around New Haven will be celebrating this wonderful milestone. I especially recommend seeing Israeli singer Noa (Achinoam Nini) who will be performing in New Haven on April 24^th, a rare treat outside of Israel. Temple Emanuel trip to Israel this summer will be our way of connecting to the land of Israel in this historic year, and I am very excited to be leading this tour! (If you are considering joining us, please do not delay – go to the TE website and register!)

Israel is not just a wonderful tourist destination – it is also a living, vibrant modern country. A democratic state, it has a multi-party political system that requires most of Israeli prime-ministers to build a coalition with other parties in order to govern. NOT an easy task J! As a result, despite multiple changes of governments and prime-ministers over the years, there are certain aspects of Israeli society that are consistently governed by ultra-religious political parties. This has presented multiple challenges over the years, to Israel as a country, to secular Israelis and indeed to non-orthodox religious movements, who have struggled without recognition and support of the state. Some of that is about to change. Many of you have followed the recent Israeli election which had two new parties, ‘Yesh Atid’ (there’s future) of Yair Lapid and ‘HaBayit haYehudi’ (the Jewish homeland) of Naftali Bennett win enough seats in the Knesset to be able to form a coalition government with the majority party led by Benjamin Netanyahu. This new coalition, for the first time in recent history, will not have any ultra-orthodox parties included, paving the way for some of the much-needed debate about the new civil society in Israel. As with any other political reality, the balance is fragile – but it is also an extremely interesting development for Israel, the one we all will be watching very closely.

It is hard to understand all of the nuances that take place thousands of miles away. We rely on journalists and media outlets, as well as on friends and family members, to keep us informed. This April we have a wonderful opportunity to learn a little more about the processes taking place in Israel today from Rabbi Meir Azari from Beit Daniel (flagship Reform synagogue in Tel Aviv) who will be coming to Temple Emanuel on Sunday, April 7 at 10:15 am. Rabbi Azari is a former teacher and a very dear friend and I am extremely excited to welcome him to Temple Emanuel for his talk “New Horizons: new civil society emerging in Israel”. I hope to see many of you there!

In the meantime, I wish ‘Yom huledet sameach’, a happy 65^th birthday to my beloved Israel and I look forward to sharing this joy with all of you over the coming month!

Rabbi Farbman.

As I write this column, the music from our 2^nd Annual Debbie Friedman z’l memorial concert is still ringing in my ears – what an incredible event it was! I want to take this opportunity to once again thank all our wonderful musicians who dedicate their time and talents to the TE band which, under Laurel Shader’s remarkable leadership, continues to go from strength to strength! I also want to thank all the volunteers who made the event such a success, as well as all the TE bakers for a yummy reception!

This year’s calendar is quite unusual as many of the Jewish festivals seem to be falling earlier than many of us can remember! Purim in February, Passover in March, Erev Rosh Hashanah on September 4th (!), and Chanukah will begin the day before Thanksgiving! Just in case you are beginning to doubt if you have ever experienced Chanukah so early, do not be alarmed – you haven’t! It happened once before in 1888, and according to someone’s smart calculations, next time this will occur (if no adjustments are made to the Jewish calendar) will be in the year 79,811! So for all of you ‘once in a lifetime’ experience collectors, this is the one for the books J.

Chanukah may come early this year – but it is still a long way away! Purim, on the other hand, is coming up on February 23/24! Our multi-talented Chasen family is once again preparing an incredible celebration entitled “This is Purim.” If you are over 21, you do not want to miss this! The event is free this year, so please bring your friends and family, as well as anyone who is interested in Temple Emanuel.

Our adult Purim parties are notoriously fun, and we get to celebrate non-stop as we gather on Sunday morning, February 24^th for a family Purim event as part of our religious school celebration. This year we will be joined by students and families from Congregation Sinai Hebrew School, and I want to encourage all TE members to bring their grandchildren (especially the ones who are not enrolled in our Hebrew school) in costume to join in the fun!

As we prepare to have lots of fun on Purim, I also want to encourage you to attend the Interfaith Scholar in Residence Learning Experience on March 10^th.  This year Temple Emanuel is hosting this annual community event, and I hope many of our members will take part. And before you know it, Passover will be on our doorstep – please make sure you mark your calendars for the Annual TE 2^nd Seder on Tuesday, March 26^th. The flyers for both of these events are enclosed with the Shofar, so please register soon!

As you can see, the next few months at Temple Emanuel are packed with exciting events, as well as our regular services, educational programs and discussions. Be sure to check out all of these wonderful opportunities, and let me know what other ideas you might want to see come alive at Temple Emanuel.

B’shalom,

Rabbi Farbman.

About a month ago I read about a phone app called “tzeva adom” (code red), an Israeli early-warning service. Intrigued, I installed it (it was free) and tried to see what information it could provide. All the menus were in Hebrew — and in small print at that—making it hard to read quickly. I almost deleted the app—I figured I would be better off getting news updates from Israeli English-speaking newspaper websites such as haaretz.com, but I got distracted and the app stayed on my phone.
A few weeks later I heard a strange alarm coming from my phone. The screen was flashing “tzeva adom Sderot,” a red alert for the town of Sderot. Suddenly the notifica- tions started coming every few seconds, listing the names of small towns and villages in the south of Israel. For the next week, my phone went crazy—the notices were coming fast and furious, listing names of bigger towns and cities every day: Be’er Sheva, Tel Aviv, Jerusalem… Each “tzeva adom” was referring to a rocket—or series of rockets— fired from the Gaza strip towards the Israeli cities. By the time I opened my eyes in the morning, my screen was filled with updates, and it kept buzzing all day long.
After a few hours I silenced my phone—the constant beeping was making it impossible to work and was unsettling to my children. I simply watched the buzzing screen, flashing the names of towns I love and places I have never heard of. I have to tell you that this little app provided one of the most powerful experiences for me. Every time my phone buzzed, thousands of Israelis ran for cover, having 15 seconds or less to reach the bomb shelter’s safety. I read the news and letters from friends and family members who were afraid to take a shower for fear of not being able to make it to a safe place when the sirens went off. I read about repeated PTSD among the children growing up in the south of Israel, children whose playgrounds and kindergarten classrooms are built as
bomb shelters… Every time the “red alert was sounded, they had to run for cover. I could silence my phone and go about my life…
By the time I got to write this column the fragile ceasefire has been renewed. The operation “Pillar of Cloud” ended without the ground invasion of Gaza, allowing most of us to breathe an uneasy sigh of relief. As we mourn the loss of life on both sides of the border, we also know that the timing of the fragile ceasefire helped avoid many more deaths that are inevitable in any military action.
Here at TE we have renewed our conversations about Israel and peace, continuing to search for ways in which we can engage with each other, reveal and debate our differing positions in a respectful environment of a loving community.
I want to draw your attention to a special program we had planned months ago when working on the TE calendar for the year. On January 12th we will hold a second in the series of TE “Divrei Laila” events, following the great success of TE Soap Box in November. We will be discuss- ing the “green line”—or the lack of it—on the maps of Israel. While the exact details and the members of the panel are still being worked on by Debbie Elkin and members of Social Action Committee that organizes this event, I encourage you all to save the date and make sure you come and join in.
I am looking forward to my phone not buzzing red alerts any time soon. Being a realist, I will not be removing the app just yet…
Wishing you all peace and quiet, happiness and joy as you celebrate Chanukah! I look forward to seeing many of you at our Shabbat Chanukah celebration on December 14th at 6pm. Check the website for more details, and sign up for dinner!

Recent hurricane-turned-tropical storm Sandy has disrupted most of our lives. This month’s Shofar arrives late as yet another reminder of what a loss of electric power for a week can do. I hope that by now everyone has had their power restored, allowing us all to greet the cold weather with warm houses. My heart goes out to so many victims of ‘Sandy’ – to those who lost their loved ones, to those who lost their homes and cars, and years’ worth of memories and precious possessions… I watch with horror the scenes of devastation from New York and New Jersey, just as I cringe with heartache at the pictures of damaged Torah scrolls rolled out to dry in destroyed sanctuaries…

Hardship and suffering tend to bring out the worst in people – the looting in flooded neighborhoods and fist fights at gas stations are, sadly, all too real. But hardship and suffering also bring out the best in people! Hundreds of thousands of people have opened their hearts, their homes, and their wallets to help their fellow human beings through this difficult time – volunteers who offer to walk up the stairs of high risers in lower Manhattan to deliver food and batteries to the elderly who are stuck in their apartments, scared and unable to get food; people renting vans in Philadelphia to fill them up with food, clothes, and gas to bring to shelters in Long Island and Brooklyn for those whose homes have been destroyed; and repair crews driving for 23 hours non-stop from all over the country to get to the northeast to help us restore our power lines.
Closer to home, the JCC opened its doors to all local residents for showers, internet, and electricity, making it possible for hundreds of people to maintain some kind of normalcy in their lives throughout the week. Our own TE members exchanged messages online and off-line, opening their homes to each other for showers and food and company. As we were fortunate enough to have power at the Temple (we only lost phones and internet for a week), we were able to host Congregation Sinai of Milford for Shabbat in our building, adding a special sense of community to our Shabbat celebration.
Storms and hurricanes will happen again. Many of us will learn to prepare better by installing generators and acquiring emergency gas stoves. I hope that we also remember that what makes it possible for all of us to make it through the difficulties that extreme weather brings is the community that surrounds us. This is why we build community around us. This is why we invest our time, our energy, our hearts and souls – and our finances – into Temple Emanuel. It is wonderful to have a community to celebrate with – on Rosh Hashanah and on Chanukah, on Pesach and on Purim. It is incredible to have support of the community when we suffer a loss or celebrate a happy milestone. But when ‘Sandy’s’ disrupt our lives, the community around us helps us support each other without having to ask for help…
The Union for Reform Judaism is raising funds to help the victims of Sandy, and I would like to encourage you all to participate as much as you can. For more information and to donate, please visit www.urj.org/sandy
Wishing you all some well-deserved warmth and calm in the month of November!

The Jewish month of Tishrei is filled with a variety of ways to engage with Judaism. It is often seen as a long marathon of holy days and holidays, but each and every occasion offers a different way to connect with our heritage. Rosh Hashanah is all about the New Year, the new beginnings, and the sweetness and happiness we hope and pray for. The apples and honey bring ‘sweetness,’ a simple symbol of joy and prosperity into our lives. Rosh Hashanah also begins the period of contemplation and self-assessment which then culminates on Yom Kippur, when having sought forgiveness from others, we come to seek forgiveness from God for all the failures of the past year – and for the failures that will occur in the future. A solemn day, Yom Kippur is filled with symbolism of memory, as we recant the stories of suffering and survival from our long history as a nation, asking God to ‘renew our days as of old’ and to bring peace to us, to Israel, and to the world. We barely get a chance to recover from the fast when we begin the sacred task of building a sukkah, a temporary shelter that is a most memorable symbol of Sukkot. And after a week of sukkah-dwelling, lulav shaking, etrog smelling, and the excitement of getting in touch with nature, we finally arrive at Simchat Torah, when we celebrate the completion of the Torah reading cycle – and the immediate beginning of a new one.

The Torah identifies three main Festivals which required a Pilgrimage to Jerusalem – Passover, Shavuot, and Sukkot, with Sukkot being called The Festival – the most joyous and, according to some, the most important Festival of the year! But for Jews living in the 21^st century America, the Festival of Sukkot is puzzling at best. The majority of us no longer farm the land and live by the agricultural cycles. Even if some of us are really into gardening and grow our own vegetables, we do so for the experience and for the sake of control over chemicals and pesticides that make their way into our food. A good crop gives us joy and pride, but unlike our ancient ancestors, we are not relying on the good crop to tell us if we are going to have enough food to survive the winter! Thus, we may try to engage with the ideas and ideals of Sukkot on an intellectual level, yet it does not speak to us in terms that are quite as clear as those of Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur!

There is a tradition of reading the Book of Ecclesiastes (Kohelet) during the week of Sukkot. This remarkable book is a collection of wisdom, traditionally attributed to King Solomon. It begins with a voice of a tired monarch, who has pursued many interests in his life, and yet has found them all futile in the end. Kohelet has long been perhaps the most favorite book of the Bible for me – brutally honest, almost cynical, yet life affirming! The reading of Kohelet on Sukkot allows us to put things a little into perspective, to take a step back from the sheer excitement of Rosh Hashanah and the overwhelmingly sobering Yom Kippur and to look at life and ourselves through the wise eyes of the ancient king. Having completed an intense period of examining our personal behavior between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur we arrive at Sukkot, when the combination of Kohelet and the fragility of the sukkah make us ponder some of the existential questions, thus helping us complete the cycle.

The festivals of the month of Tishrei take us on a journey. It is a journey of discovery, of asking many questions – personal, communal, and existential. It culminates with Simchat Torah when we receive the answer as we embrace the Torah scrolls and go dancing with them around the sanctuary. Etz Chayim Hee Lamachazikim Ba, it IS a Tree of Life to those who hold fast to it! As we embrace the Tree of Life, we affirm life, a most fitting way to end the busy month of Tishrei.

I wish you all a sweet and happy New Year 5773!

The summer feel is still in the air, yet we are busy with a brand new academic year and that can only mean one thing: fall is not far behind. The schools welcome the students back, older kids head back to college, and coaches are putting together schedules for fall/winter sports activities, games and meets. Our own TE Hebrew school is gearing up for another wonderful and exciting year of Jewish learning, as we welcome the returning as well as the new students into our classes. The new year of learning is here!

This summer I had an incredible opportunity to visit my friend and colleague Rabbi Robert Ash who serves Temple Emanuel in Johannesburg, South Africa. It was a wonderful and eye-opening trip in many ways, I am still trying to process all that we saw and experienced there. One of the remarkable experiences was coming to terms with Jewish life in southern hemisphere, where Jewish Festival cycle and seasons are not quite in sync- at least not the way WE are used to them! For us, the fall brings the new academic year and the new Jewish year, whereas Passover is the Festival of Spring. In South Africa (and the rest of the Southern Hemisphere) Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are celebrated in the spring (so is Sukkot!), while Pesach occurs in the fall. It was hard enough to wrap our heads around the fact that August is winter, but Rosh Hashanah in the spring is even more confusing! J

Now, I know what you must be thinking – surely our rabbi is educated enough to know that seasons are reversed ‘down under’! Let me assure you – I certainly knew about all of this IN THEORY. But visiting South African synagogues and praying with them using the special World Union edition of Mishkan Tefilah prayerbook drove that message home in a very different way. (For a moment I wondered – what reading would I choose in Amida – the winter one for rain or the summer one for dew? The answer was simple – their siddur includes a passage from a British Liberal prayerbook, acknowledging BOTH seasons at the same time, an excellent compromise!). On this trip I was reminded once again that theoretical knowledge is extremely important, but practical experience helps us truly understand and appreciate many things in life.

Our tradition sets aside the month of Elul, the one immediately preceding Rosh Hashanah, as a time for contemplation. For looking back at the year that is about to end, for evaluating our actions – and our thoughts. For putting them on ‘scales’ and trying to see if we have lived up to our own standards, our own expectations of what we think is a right and proper way to live our lives. In Judaism we often refer to this process as cheshbon hanefesh, the accounting of the soul. The idea is that we will begin this wonderful process of self-examination early, so that by the time we arrive at Rosh Hashanah we will have had a chance to truly prepare ourselves to this very special and joyous time of transition, ready to enter the new year. At least that’s the THEORY. Did you ever try this at home? What is YOUR practical experience of cheshbon hanefesh? Did you ever spend the month of Elul getting ready for High Holy Days? I know that for many of you the answer is yes – I know because you have shared those stories with me in the past. But I also know that far too many of us are way too busy this time of year to sit down and really process our actions and our thoughts. We know the theory of Jewish practice, and we also know that it would be a wonderful idea to really do it – but then life gets in the way and we arrive at Rosh Hashanah barely catching our breath…

Let’s try and do things differently this year. Let’s try and put theoretical knowledge to the test of practice. Let’s all find at least a few hours here and there to read a Jewish book (Agnon’s ‘Days of Awe’ is an excellent collection of stories, as are many others) to help get ourselves ready for the wonderful experience of High Holy Days WELL in advance. I know I’m going to try harder this year. Will you join me?

Shanah Tovah, a sweet a happy new year 5773!