Category: Rabbi’s page

When I was a rabbinical student back in the 1990s, I missed out on one of the most important elements of rabbinic training. Due to circumstances completely beyond my control, I found myself without a valid passport and was forced to give up one of the key elements of my education – a year spent studying and living in Israel. Back then I promised myself that one day, soon, I would remedy this and come spend extended periods of time in Israel, improve my Hebrew and engage in learning, living, and being in Israel. Sadly, this dream of mine has so far remained just that – a dream, but I have been blessed with many opportunities to come to Israel for shorter periods of time over the years. I have sat on the beach with my kids when they were small; I have danced at weddings of friends; I have cried at the funeral of my aunt. I have walked the streets of Jerusalem, Jaffa and Tzfat with teenagers and with grownups over the years, sharing with them my love for this land and watching them ‘get it’ with every step they took. What a privilege it is to watch the land you love and to struggle with its challenges through the eyes of the people you love! What an honor it is to stand next to someone who sees the Kotel, the Western Wall in Jerusalem, for the first time… Over the years I have begun referring to my trips to Israel as a chance to ‘recharge my internal batteries.’ And so as I was approaching my sabbatical, I knew that one of the things I HAD to do was spend some time in Israel. An opportunity to visit Israel together with a group of young Jewish leaders this October sounded like an excellent chance. None of us could have known that the situation on the ground, or ‘matzav’ as Israelis call it, was going to become so tense just two weeks prior to the trip with a series of violent stabbings in Jerusalem and throughout Israel. Many lives have been lost in recent terrorist attacks, and the society is very much on edge, watching in disbelief as a possible third intifada unfolds in front of our eyes…
Adjustments had to be made to the program. Some of the planned activities (such as a trip to Hebron) were simply not going to be possible in this new reality, but the rest of the trip proceeded as planned. And so we spend our days talking to Israelis and learning of all the challenges, historic and present, big and small, that continue to face not just Israel, but the Jewish people at large. We talk of the vision of the founders of the state and of the courage and commitment of those who have worked hard to implement that vision into a reality and continue to do so. We ask questions of ourselves and those who come to share their wisdom with us as we continue to ponder what vision for the future we each hold and what work needs to be done to bring that future forward. The famous quote of Herzl looms large: ‘if you will it, it is not a dream…’
My dream of spending a longer period of time in Israel will come true one day – in the meantime, I am grateful to my TE family for this opportunity to be here as part of my sabbatical, and I am grateful to my wife Olga who has invited me to tag along on the trip she is leading. By the time you read these words, I will be back in my office at the Temple. For now, I sign off from my beloved Israel, praying for peace – Shalom Yerushalaim, peace for Jews and non-Jews who share this land and for all those who work hard to make this peace a reality.

New Year is upon us! Rosh Hashanah is coming! The cycle of Jewish life is about to be renewed once again, with ritual, prayers, solemn and uplifting community gatherings, family reunions – and, of course, lots and lots of food. Food for the body, food for the soul.

The spirit of renewal is very much in the air at Temple Emanuel. For the first time in our congregation’s history we are gathering our entire community under one roof! The One Campus addition has been completed and has already transformed the daily life of our community. One roof. One set of doors. One house for learning, prayer and gathering. Bright and spacious classrooms just in time for the brand new educational year for our children. A new director of religious school, Jodi Harris, dedicated to making this new academic year the best one yet for our young families. A year full of adult learning opportunities, giving us a renewed sense of excitement about our spiritual home. A reinvigorated intergenerational community that is rolling up its sleeves to move furniture, transform gardens, update the library and celebrate the fact that we still have that pioneer TE spirit that has been our signature card for over 50 years!

The month of Elul, leading up to High Holy Days, is the time to look back, to take stock, to slow down and to get in the right set of mind. Time to evaluate our priorities, make changes, get back on track. Time to think more about tzedakah and to be more philanthropic. With all the demands of the move into the new wing, it has not been easy to find time to sit quietly and to ponder in a traditional Elul kind of way. And yet, as I watched dozens and dozens of volunteers come together to express their love for Temple Emanuel through hard work and dedication, I couldn’t help but feel that this was a perfect way to usher in the month of Elul and to begin the countdown to the most sacred days of the Jewish year.

May this New Year 5776 be the year of renewal for us all. May we see these exciting new experiences as an invitation for us to try new things in this Jewish year. Let us be adventurous and deepen our Jewish knowledge and involvement. We no longer have to wonder if we will know which door to enter – all we have to do is walk in!

Wishing you and your loved ones shanah tovah u’metukah, a sweet and happy new year.

In just over a month I will be celebrating 14 years since my rabbinic ordination. It has been an incredible experience, and I am grateful every day for the opportunity to do what I love – to spend my days taking care of the Jewish people and my beloved community, Temple Emanuel. Early in my career I have moved around the world, and so it is only now that I am approaching my first sabbatical – an opportunity to step back from my daily routine, to study and to learn from others, to find new ways to enrich my rabbinate. It is perhaps symbolic that the first act of my sabbatical (to be taken over the course of the next three years) was to attend the biennial conference of the World Union for Progressive Judaism (WUPJ).  I feel in many ways that I am a poster child for the World Union – it had inspired me to become a Jewish leader when I was a teen, offered me an invaluable Jewish education at Machon (Moscow institute of Jewish studies) where I met my wife Olga, a fellow student who has become my life-long partner in life and work. I was honored to return to the FSU as a rabbi and to continue to serve my movement as best as I could. The WUPJ has seen me grow from a teen with leadership potential into a Jewish professional, and so it was really exciting for me to attend the Connections 2015 in Rio as part of my sabbatical!

Hundreds of people from all over the world, multiple languages spoken. Rabbis, cantors, youth leaders, lay leaders, fellow travelers. People who have supported the WUPJ for years – indeed decades – and brand new faces. Dozens and dozens of attendees from Latin America – Brazil, Argentina, Chile – hosting the WUPJ conference in their part of the world for the very first time. Shabbat services hosted by the ARI synagogue in Rio, a 900-family strong community which so lovingly welcomed us all into their synagogue and their homes for shabbat meals afterwards. A chance to learn about the realities faced by reform and progressive communities all around the globe, a chance to see old friends (including Rabbi Elena Rubinstein from St. Petersburg) and to make new ones. To learn and to teach, to pray together and to laugh. To take in the Copacabana sun and to learn to say ‘obrigato’ to the friendly waiters and taxi drivers. A chance to celebrate this worldwide Jewish community, to thank the outgoing Chair Mike Grabiner (London) for his work, to install the new Chair of WUPJ Carole Sterling (Toronto), to sing and to dance. To be together. It doesn’t happen all that often – but when it does, it is an honor and a privilege to be part of this wonderful gathering.

I am very grateful to my TE community for giving me this opportunity to begin this process of renewal by reconnecting with my roots. As my sabbatical plans continue to take shape, I am excited to know that we are off to a good start!

This year marks the 70^th anniversary of the end of the WWII. This symbolic date is marked on different days in different parts of the world. It is a date that is recorded differently in the psyche of the nations that see themselves as participants of that massive conflict. Most likely there will be little to mark this occasion in the American and British media this spring. In Britain, it is Remembrance Day (11/11) that is widely used to commemorate the lives lost in the sacrifices of that generation. In United States, you may hear a reference to WWII around Memorial Day. The Nazi Germany capitulated on April 30, 1945, and in many history books this day marks the end of the war with Germany. Of course, the conflict continued in the Pacific until the fall of 1945, but for most Europeans, this was the end of the war.

The former Soviet Union marks the victory day on May 9^th, the day when the first victory parade was held in Moscow in Red Square in 1945. Every year as a child when I would watch the veterans walk down the central street of my city, I would greet them with flowers and listen to their stories. I would think what it would be like to have my grandfathers in my life, sharing stories about the war on that day…

I never met either of my grandfathers, Shmuil Farbman and Yakov Chernov. In fact, my parents don’t really remember their fathers either – they were one and two years old when their fathers kissed their families goodbye, put them on trains headed east and marched into the conscription office to volunteer to go to the front… Neither one came back alive, and we do not even know where they were buried – or if they were buried at all…  In those days, “lost in action” (the military term in Russian is actually “lost without a trace”) was all too common, especially in the first days and months of the war, which claimed millions of lives of Soviet soldiers and civilians – close to 40 million total losses estimated. My uncle turned 18 during the war and was drafted, never to return home. He, too, was lost without a trace: no date of death, no grave to visit, no stone to erect.

May 9^th was always about three things for me: the parade of the veterans in my town, the big military parade in Red Square (that I would watch on TV sometimes) and the quiet family gatherings, somber in spirit. The sadness of that day belonged to everyone – the many songs that were written and performed on that day spoke about ‘happiness with tears of sadness in your eyes.’ This was the only day when we could mourn and remember my grandfathers.

When I moved to England to attend rabbinical school, there weren’t any commemorations on May 9^th, and the military parades in Red Square looked so strange and out of place from a distance… As a young man, I didn’t pay too much attention to this. In fact, I developed a healthy, skeptical view of the way Russians marked that victory. When the iron curtain fell it became painfully obvious that the victors were in much worse shape than the country they defeated, and so I began to question the entire idea of the annual celebration, as did many others. When we returned to Russia in 2004 I was dismayed to find the country spending millions on military parades while often failing to provide the basic needs for the very few remaining veterans of that war… I was angry at the system, but I would also get caught up in the spirit of the day and think of the war and my grandfathers and my uncle Moses, whose name I carry as my Hebrew name (Moshe).

For the last seven years I have largely ignored the day here in America. I would call my parents, mostly because I knew they needed to receive that call from me. This year, on the 70th anniversary of that first parade, things will be different. I will take my parents to a special concert in New York on May 8^th, and I will talk about the day and what it means that evening at Shabbat services. I will talk to the veterans I know, who somehow survived that devastating war. I will remember my grandfathers and my uncle, people I have never met but whose DNA I carry. I will ignore the parade on the Red Square and all the political madness that surrounds it. I will work hard not to allow the Russian propaganda machine upset me. I will reclaim the part of that day I remember from childhood – honor for the living and memory of the fallen… This year, I will mark the 70^th anniversary of this victory in the most personal way I know: by lighting a yizkor candle and by telling my children why the sacrifices of my grandfathers mattered. May their memory endure for a blessing…

Last week together with a team of TE volunteers I participated in a poverty simulation organized by United Way and Jewish Federation as part of the Neighbor-to-Neighbor Lifeline campaign. I was assigned a role of a nine-year old boy, Roland, who lives with his father (who has a full time job and a paid off car), his 20-year old sister (who is in college and works part time) and her one-year old baby. We were given the details of the family income and expenses, as well as food stamps info and a little background. Having quickly added up the money, it was obvious that we were a little short but things looked pretty stable! And then the simulation began. Four weeks were squeezed into four 15 minute periods, and things began to unravel rather quickly. As our ‘family’ of three (plus a baby) – in reality, three grownups (plus a cute doll) trying to analyze the situation and act accordingly – desperately tried to keep afloat, we failed miserably. It wasn’t just money – it was life itself! I was ‘taken’ to a juvenile detention center, my ‘nephew’ was taken by CPS and we were almost evicted from our home. Oh, and we never managed to get any food.

I watched people of all ages in that room, picking up the pace as they went along, overwhelmed and bewildered as the evening progressed. And while I know that some of what happened to my ‘family’ that night was done to demonstrate the point, it was also shockingly clear that it was not so far-fetched at all! As we left that night, all of us knew that we had to renew our efforts – as individuals, as religious communities and as a society at large. The next simulation is scheduled on Feb. 22 at Mishkan Israel – I highly recommend you find time to participate, even if you feel you know all about the struggles and the challenges.

The third week of February this year is Temple Emanuel’s week at Abraham’s Tent, the remarkable program of collaboration between the faith communities all around New Haven and Columbus House, providing shelter, food and human interaction for 12 homeless men throughout the winter months. We cook, and we share the meal with the men. We listen to their stories, and we share ours. Every year I am humbled and inspired to do more. This year we are looking for additional volunteers (male) to spend the night as chaperones – so if you can stay up for one night, please get in touch with Ronda Stiekman. Remember, no matter what you do to make this world a little better, you will ALWAYS receive a lot more than you are able to give.

I hope your first post-Thanksgivukkah Thanksgiving was a wonderful time to reconnect with family and friends. If you missed the latkes at your table, no need to panic – Chanukah is almost here!

Over the last few years we have spent a lot of time and effort building up the TE programs for our post bnei mitzvah teens. There was a gap left by the demise of Makom, our local community high school, but even before it disappeared, only a few TE teens would join its programs every year. Our Confirmation program continued to attract students, and we had a few teens stay on as teacher’s aids in school, but majority of our teens did not find it easy to engage with TE.

Two years ago we added a leadership course for our madrichim (teacher aids). Once a month they met with Olga Markus, learning leadership skills, discussing relevant topics and preparing to be a better presence in the classroom. This year, we added a new cohort of teens, while ‘graduating’ the first class to the level 2 of training -together with Olga they continue to explore the ongoing challenges and opportunities of Hebrew school classroom, run individual programs within our school, serve as excellent substitute teachers and teach our weekly Story House preschool class! In the meantime, yesterday’s bnei mitzvah students have become an excellent addition to our school, as they learn to help our younger students with Hebrew and activities. I cannot begin to tell you how proud I am of all our teen helpers, our wonderful madrichim, and the leaders they are becoming right in front of our eyes!

While school leadership program is extremely successful, it is also important to acknowledge that this kind of a program is not every teen’s choice – and so we have added a ‘Rabbi, How do I…?’ video class, expertly led by Noah Simon, himself a TE teen, where teens create short videos on timely Jewish subjects – we are currently working on displaying their work on TE website.

Last but not least, our joint program for teens with Congregation Mishkan Israel and Temple Beth David continues to go from strength to strength – this year’s: ‘Open Doors, Open Minds: a dialogue among Jews, Christians and Muslims’ brings the teens from our three communities together once a month, exploring the very important reality of interfaith work and providing a welcome opportunity to get to know Jewish teens from other communities. On December  7 we will make our first  interfaith visit to St. Barbara Greek Orthodox Church in Orange, where we will attend the service, meet with teens to learn about Greek Orthodox religious traditions and have a chance to ask questions of Fr. Peter Orfanakos.

I am extremely proud of all of our teens, and grateful to all TE members who continue to encourage and support this most important work for the future of our people.

Look forward to celebrating the Festival of Lights with you all at our annual Shabbat Chanukah on Dec 19 at 6pm – don’t forget your chanukkiah and let’s fill our sanctuary with light! Make sure that you sign up for dinner too, so that we have enough food for everyone!

What a Holy Day season we had this year! A huge thank you to all the volunteers who have helped make this year the best yet! (We are blessed with so many, that I would not be able to thank everyone by name here – but that’s a good problem to have, I’m sure you will agree:) The sukkah has come down and the chilly weather has arrived, but here at TE we are buzzing with energy and excitement for the new year. The calendar is filled with opportunities to get engaged – so whether you are looking to nourish your mind, your body or your soul, we have many opportunities for you to do so!

The elections are on everyone’s mind right now, and I encourage you to make your choice wisely and to make sure you vote! On Rosh Hashanah I spoke about a different kind of election coming up soon. Over the next 180 days, U.S. Reform Jews have the chance to help chart Israel’s future. In 2015, Jews in the United States will cast their vote for representation in the World Zionist Congress – a global governing body that influences both the shape of policies and the distribution of funds in Israel. The values we as Reform Jews hold dear – equality, pluralism and peace – must be championed by that Congress. Together, we can make that happen. That’s why I wanted to make sure that you were one of the first to know that ARZA Campaign Website “Reform Jews 4 Israel” is now live:  www.reformjews4israel.org

From now until voting begins on January 15, 2015, the site will provide information about the WZC elections and encourage individuals to pledge their support for the ARZA campaign. The website will change on January 15th to a link to the actual voting site. Please take a moment to look at the site and to register your support and your interest. Thank you very much in advance!

ולקחתם לכם ביום הראשון פרי עץ הדר כפת תמרים וענף עץ עבת וערבי נחל ושמחתם לפני ה׳ אלקיכם שבעת ימים

“On the first day, you must take for yourself a fruit of the citron tree, an unopened palm frond (lulav), myrtle branches, and willows [that grow near] the brook. You shall rejoice before God for seven days.” (Leviticus 23:40)

After the solemn drama of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, we arrive at the Festival of Sukkot – a week-long celebration, a happiest of festivals in the Jewish tradition. In fact, the rabbis would refer to it as ‘heChag’, or ‘the Festival’. It is easy to see why the festival of Sukkot would acquire such a special status in the agricultural world of our ancestors. After all, when you have gathered the crops (and when you know you can make it safely through the winter without starving), you can relax and rejoice! But the agricultural elements of Sukkot hardly speak to the majority of modern Jews – even those of us who like to grow things in our back yard, or participate in the local community farm, hardly rely on the produce for our very survival.

The sukkah, a highly visible and distinct element of the holiday is a big help – through the sukkah, this festival continues to stand out from all other Jewish holidays. Having a meal in the sukkah, even a simple one, is considered a fulfillment of a great mitzvah – so if you don’t get a chance to build one in your own back yard, why not stop by the Temple Emanuel sukkah with a brown bag lunch?

The most important commandment of the Festival is the biblical instruction to combine the lulav and etrog – the four species – together, for a blessing. A palm branch, willow, myrtle and citron are brought together, each representing, among other things, four types of Jews. Through the waving (or shaking) of lulav and etrog we remind ourselves that Jews come in all different shapes and sizes, with different levels of observance and commitment to Judaism and the Jewish people. On Sukkot we remember that we can only truly be a people when we bring all the different Jews together, just as we bring the lulav and etrog together for a blessing.

I look forward to seeing many of you in TE’s sukkah this sukkot, sharing the lulav and etrog and the beauty of their ancient message with all of you. And when we are done celebrating sukkot, we will dance with the Torah and rejoice as we begin to read it, yet again, on Simchat Torah (Wednesday, Oct 15 at 6:30 pm this year).

L’shanah tovah tikateivu v’tichateimu, may you all be written and sealed in the Book of Life for a happy, healthy and peaceful New Year 5775!